InSaniTy
by evilly-innocent
Summary: Zack is insane, that much is for sure. a collection of oneshots based on zack and all of the retarded/insane/evil/etc. things he does. Read and review please  .
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I dont own FFVII... I never will, sadly... If i did, i'm pretty sure i would be glomping characters and not writing fanfics =D

Ch. 1- Uh Oh….

_Why did I agree to this?_ Genesis thought with dismay. He had agreed to take Angeal's puppy to the new super store on Wall Market to get some new shoes. Why Angeal needed someone to go with Zack was beyond him, but Angeal promised him a dumbapple pie. And Genesis loved dumbapple pie. So watching Angeal's puppy for an hour or so was no real problem. Everything had been going fine… until Genesis lost sight of the raven haired SOLDIER for literally 2 seconds.

All it took was those two tiny seconds; and now Genesis was running around the store looking for the energetic puppy. He had searched everywhere he thought Zack would be: the toy aisle, the video game section, he even asked a woman shopper to check the ladies restroom for him. Nothing. Genesis was getting ready to leave the nuisance at the store, but he knew Angeal would be displeased if he abandoned Zack. The funny looks he was receiving from the other shoppers wasn't helping him want to stay and look for him, either.

_Next time, I am so not doing this for Angeal. No matter how much he begs. Sephiroth can have the "joy" of looking after him._ Genesis smiled at the face he knew Sephiroth would have made had he been present for that little comment. Genesis was getting ready to give up, no matter what Angeal did about it later, when he heard a female shopper yell a couple aisles away from where he was.

"Quit it! Leave me alone you pervert!" Genesis started towards the woman's voice, knowing Zack just HAD to be the cause of the ruckus. The red clad SOLDIER turned the corner just in time to see Zack jogging towards the retreating woman. Genesis stopped and face palmed when he saw what was in Zack's hands.

"Come on!" Zack called out to the woman, "What do you think? Would it fit you?" He was holding out a pink lacy bra towards the woman, who was practically running away from him now.

"Leave me alone!" The woman shopper squealed back and disappeared down another aisle.

Zack was about to go after her when Genesis caught him by the scruff of his uniform, just like he would a misbehaving puppy. Genesis turned the boy around and looked him in the eyes. "Zackary Fair, what in the goddess's name do you think you are doing?" Genesis was a little more than annoyed at the boy in front of him.

Zack blushed slightly, "Well, I wanted to get a gift for Aerith, since her birthday is coming up. I was going to get her a new bra, since she needs a new one, but I wasn't sure what size she needed." Zack stared down at his feet. "That other lady looked like she was about the same size as Aerith, and I tried to get her to help me, but all she did was run away." Zack looked behind him, a confused expression on his face. Then he looked at Genesis, confusion still in his eyes.

Genesis glared at the younger SOLDIER for a minute until he started to fidget under the stare. "Zack…. You're an idiot." With that Genesis dragged Zack out of the store, vowing to never go there with Zack ever again.

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><p><em>authors note: ok, so im planning on this being a collection of oneshots centered around Zack and his insanestrange/idiotic/etc. moments =D  
>if theres anything you all want to see written, just review andor pm me with them and ill try my best to write them nicely... _


	2. Chapter 2 money

**disclaimer:** i do not own any of the fine characters for ffvii, nor do i own the game monopoly... sadly enough

Ch.2- money

Zack couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong. The stupid cashier wasn't accepting his money. The energetic Second class SOLDIER was currently at the burger place just around the corner from ShinRa. Him and Kunsel, a Third class, had gone out partying all night and decided to get something to eat before they went back on base. Reasonably simple task, right?

Wrong. With Zack, nothing was simple; and he was just about to prove it. "Sir," the teenager behind the counter said, "I'm sorry but we don't except that kind of money here."

"What are you talking about? You've always accepted my money before." Zack said loudly, obviously having had too much to drink during the night.

"I'm sorry," the girl said, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "But we don't accept fake money. Only gil."

Zack sat there for a minute, scratching the back of his head._ Fake money?_ he thought to himself._ What on gaia is she talking about?_ Zack thought for another moment, making the girl more nervous, before he had an epiphany. _She must like me,_ he thought smugly, _that's why she won't accept my money. She wants to talk to me._ A grin grew on Zack's face. "Well, you know," he began, bending forward and resting his elbows on the counter, "You could've just asked if you wanted to have a conversation." He winked at her. When she blushed, he was encouraged that he was right all along. "Besides, it's not like I bite." He paused for dramatic effect. "Hard." He winked at her again.

Her blush grew bigger and she stammered, "S-Sir! Wh-what are you going on about?"

"Oh, you know," he winked again, "It's okay to like me, I am a strong SOLDIER after all." He flexed his arm muscles for emphasis.

The girl just stood there speechless, her face as red as a tomato. "What's taking so long Zack?" Kunsel said, hitting his friend in the arm to get his attention. "I thought you were supposed to be getting food?"

"I was," Zack replied with a grin, "but this little cutey here," he gestured towards the teenager, "Won't accept my money." Kunsel looked at the girl questioningly.

"He can't pay with fake money," she managed to get out, pointing and accusing finger at Zack.

"Fake money?" Kunsel said to himself, looking at Zack. It was then that he noticed the pieces of paper Zack held in his hand. "Zack, can i see those?" he asked, gesturing towards the paper. Zack nodded his head and handed them over. Kunsel examined them for a moment before humming to himself. "That's what I thought." He turned towards the cashier, who was still blushing, and pulled out his wallet. He paid for the food and took Zack outside.

"What's up, dude?" Zack slurred slightly.

Kunsel just held up the pieces of paper still in his hand. "Zack, can you please tell me why you were trying to pay using monopoly money?"

"Huh?" Zack brilliantly replied. Kunsel held out the scraps of paper and Zack took them, studying them for a moment. "What do ya know, so THAT'S where all the monopoly money went. I was wondering why i couldn't find it." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "At least now i know why the cashier wasn't accepting my money." He grinned, embarrassment a thing of the past. Kunsel just sighed and shook his head, before grabbing Zack's arm and dragging him towards ShinRa. _Leave it to Zack to replace his real money with monopoly money,_

Kunsel thought, chuckling to himself. _Only he would do something completely retarded like that.  
><em>

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><p><em>authors note: okay, you all know the drill...<br>read, review, and give me some good ideas ^.^ if you feel the inclination to do so...  
>thanks to those who reviewed ^.^ im glad i amuse someone at least...<br>i will try my best to write the suggestions i get, but bear with me if it takes awhile... ^.^ anyways, i hope you enjoyed!_


	3. Chapter 3 I wonder

**Disclaimer:** no, i dont own anything from ffvii... i wish i did, but then again i would have to deal with Zack's weirdness so... =D

Ch. 3- "I wonder…"

Angeal had learned a lot in the time since he made Zack his apprentice. Usually it was the other way around, but then again nothing was usual around the bouncy Second. But, that was another matter altogether.

So when Angeal heard his student say "I wonder.." from the other room, he knew something bad was going to happen. The last time Zack had wondered something; he had accidently blown up part of the science wing. Although Angeal wasn't so sure about the "accident" part. He had a sneaky suspicion that the teen had done it on purpose, and Zack's joy at the destruction later only proved it. But, I digress...

Angeal had hoped that the blond cadet Zack seemed attached to would help keep the puppy in check. Basically prevent him from doing anything too stupid. Yeah right. If anything, Zack was worse around the cadet; which is why they were currently locked in the next room; they had tried to break into Sephiroth's apartment. The plan was to make the silver haired man's normally neat apartment into a mess. Hence why they were locked in a room where they couldn't easily escape. At least that way they couldn't irritate anyone, besides each other, or cause any sort of mischief. Angeal figured he would let the two tire each other out, then he would let them out and they could get something to eat. In the meantime, he would read the new book Genesis had given him in peace and quiet.

However, of all the things Zack had taught him over the last few months, it was that peace and quiet didn't belong anywhere near Zack. He set his book down, listening in carefully to the next room. He heard Zack hum through the wall. He could practically see the youth scratching his head in thought.

"Zack, I don't think that is such a good idea." Angeal heard the cadet say quietly.

Zack just chuckled. "Nonsense spiky! I know what I'm doing. Trust me." Angeal shook his head. He should probably go see what his student was up to. However, he was comfortable and didn't want to get up at the moment. So, he just sat there and listened. He would intervene if he was needed to, but until then he was content to just sit there and listen.

"I don't think you're supposed to be doing that Zack. What if you hurt yourself?" Angeal nervously looked at the door. The cadet sounded serious when he talked about Zack hurting himself. Angeal would never admit it, but he had a soft spot for his charge, and didn't like seeing the teen hurt. Zack, it seemed didn't have the same qualms as his friend for him began to laugh. The cadet just sighed, " Fine, then. But if you hurt yourself don't come looking to me to help you." Angeal stood up. He wasn't going to allow Zack to hurt himself after all. Even if Zack didn't seem all that concerned. Zack wouldn't seem concerned if a king behemoth had him cornered without a weapon. It was just the kind of person Zack was, and it was giving Angeal premature gray hair.

Angeal walked over and removed the chair that was keeping the door shut. He stood there with one hand on the doorknob, contemplating opening the door. Then he heard the two words that made his blood. "Uh oh," Zack said nervously as the cadet simultaneously yelled, "Zack!" followed closely by a loud thud and the sound of breaking wood.

Angeal threw the door open and was met with an odd sight. The cadet was sitting on the bed, staring at the mess that was Zack on the floor. Zack was lying on his back, a ceiling fan on top of him. Angeal looked up in confusion to see a huge hole in the ceiling. Any worries about Zack's well being flew out the window as his annoyance took over. "Zack," he said through clenched teeth. "What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Bedroom?" The blond cadet shrunk into the headboard while Zack rubbed his head, not even trying to remove the fan that was on top of him.

"I, uh," he began nervously, "Might've gotten a little bored and decided to..." He mumbled the end of the sentence.

"What did you say Zack," Angeal questioned, very annoyed now. Zack looked at the cadet for help, but the kid only shook his head. He wasn't dumb enough to make the commander mad at him.

Zack sighed, dejected. "I, uh, might've tried to see if the umm fan would hold my weight." he whispered.

"Speak up Zachary," Angeal snapped.

Zack flinched slightly but said louder, "I tried to see if the fan would hold my weight." He looked away from Angeal.

Angeal just stood there, shocked. Had his student really just said that? He rubbed his face with his hand and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. "Wait Angeal!" he heard Zack call out. "Help me out from under this thing!" Angeal heard snickering, which he assumed was the cadet. He shook his head and chuckled softly. Leave it to Zack to do something dumb like hang from the ceiling fan._a_

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><p><em>authors note: Okay, so heres another insallment of InSaniTy... hoped you all liked it... read and review please!<br>oh and thanks to those who reviewed! =D it is much appreciated_


	4. Chapter 4 of course he did

**Disclaimer:** No, i do not own ffvii or any of its characters...

Ch. 4- of course he did

"Take that!" Zack yelled from the other room. Angeal sighed. He was hoping to get some peace and quiet. But after Zack's previous endeavor with the ceiling fan, it didn't seem possible. When Angeal heard a muted thump from the other room, he resigned himself to his fate.

He stood up and walked over to the barricaded door. He heard another muted thud, and sighed before opening the door. He was met with a sight of Zack's behind waving around in the air as he was looking under the bed. "Zack, what are you doing?" He said, getting Zack's attention.

Zack jumped, hitting his head on the underside of the bed. He wiggled out, rubbing the back of his head. For some reason, he was carrying a rolled up newspaper. "Ow Angeal!" he exclaimed to the older man, "A little warning next time!"

Angeal chuckled. "What were you doing under there in the first place?"

Zack stood up and took the opportunity to lay on the bed, arms folded behind his head. "Nothing," he replied nonchalantly.

Angeal looked at his student strangely for a moment, then shook his head and sighed. He had quit trying to understand Zack a long time ago. All it did was give him a headache. He turned to leave when he heard a very unmanly shriek. His student was then suddenly clinging to hi s back and shrieking in his ear. "Get it Angeal! Get it!" The poor boy was nearly hysterical.

Angeal turned and looked around the room for anything out of the ordinary. He didn't find anything. "Get what?" he questioned his student. He was starting to question the young man's sanity.

Zack looked over Angeal's shoulder and grew hysterical once more. "There!" he pointed frantically, "On the bed! Kill it!" Angeal looked at his student strangely before dumping the boy on the floor and walking over to the bed. He didn't see anything besides Zack's messy sheets. Angeal studied them for a minute before he saw something small move. Zack, who had walked up behind Angeal, shrieked once again and ran out the room, shutting the door in his wake.

Angeal bent closer, looking at the little object that had moved. It took him a moment, but Angeal finally figured out what the little thing was: a spider. A simple, harmless, little daddy long leg spider. The things weren't even poisonous to human. He shook his head in confusion, then set his hand next to the spider. It crawled onto his palm, and he used his other hand to create a little cage. He would let the little guy outside, where Zack couldn't freak out and kill it.

Angeal walked out of the room, heading towards the window. However, as soon as he walked out of the room, he was met with pain. He was hit with something in the head. Hard. He looked over annoyed and saw Zack clutching a flyswatter to his chest. "Zack," he growled. "What was that for?"

Zack shrunk into himself. "I thought you were the spider," he mumbled quietly. Angeal looked at his student for a moment, before laughing out loud. Zack looked indignant. "Hey! What's so funny?"

"You," Angeal managed between laughs. "You can fight a king behemoth without flinching, and yet you are afraid of a little spider?"

Zack hit him in the head with the flyswatter again. "I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them much." He hit Angeal again to prove his point.

Angeal very gently put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Don't hit me again." He said lowly, trying to impress on Zack just how annoyed his was. Zack ducked his head. Angeal had to try hard to hide his smile at the spider slowly making its way up Zack's uniform. "Understand?"

Zack nodded his head. "Yeah, Angeal, of course. Just don't look at me like that."

Angeal looked at his student before nodding his head as well. "Good." He let go of Zack's shoulders and turned to sit back on the couch. "Oh, and Zack?"

"Yeah Angeal?" The bouncy teen replied.

"There's a spider in your hair." Angeal smirked.

Zack looked at him in horror, before shrieking again. "Ahhhhhhhhhh! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" He flailed around the living room, trying to remove the innocuous thing from his hair. Angeal just chuckled. Seeing Zack running around the room in terror was actually quite funny. Count it as payback for the hole in his ceiling.

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><p><em>authors note:<br>here's another installment for InSaniTy... hoped you all liked it...  
>i loved writing this chapter.. for some reason, seeing Zack freak out like that seemed too funny to resist...<br>anyways, read, review, give me new ideas, and enjoy =D  
><em>


	5. Chapter 5 click

**Disclaimer:** no, i dont own any of these characters... although i do hope they become mine in the near future.

Ch.5- Click

_click_

It was such a simple thing. Sign the papers, then give them to Angeal. Was that too much for Genesis to ask for?

_click click_

Apparently so. Why Zack's signature was needed on the report anyways was beyond him. It was only a performance report on some of the cadets after all. Not really all that important. Usually either himself or Angeal could sign it, then it would be shipped off to Sephiroth. But not this time, apparently. All three of them, as well as Sephiroth, had to sign the blasted paper.

_click_

Genesis had thought it would be easy. Bring it to Zack, have the puppy sign it, bring to Angeal, then he was free to go home for the day. He sighed, if only it had been that easy.

_click click click_

Zack, as it seemed, hated any and all paperwork. So, he had spent the last 45 minutes refusing to even look at the thing. It had taken a lot of bribing, and the promise of chocolate, to get Zack to agree to look at the paper. That was when he found it.

_click click_

The blasted pen.

_click_

Not the usual kind, mind you, with the removable caps. Nope. He had found the kind that you had to click in order to use.

_click click click_

Since then, Zack has been entertaining himself with his new toy; paperwork completely forgotten.

_click click_

It took all of Genesis's patience to not kill the annoying teen in front of him. Patience, and the promise he made to Angeal to never hurt his student. He had actually been contemplating attacking the teen anyways, promise or not. However, the thought of Angeal's retaliation was good enough to prevent the auburn SOLDIER from doing anything.

_click click click click click click_

Although, Genesis was starting to think maybe Angeal's wrath worth it.

_click click cli-_

"Zack!" Genesis yelled, grabbing the pen out of the teen's hand. "That's annoying. Knock it off!"

Zack looked startled, and a little sad. Like a little kid who just had his favorite toy taken away. Which was actually pretty close to the truth. Zack looked up at Genesis, his eyes filling with tears. "But- But-" The teen began. A single tear slid down his cheek, and Genesis started to feel bad. He sighed.

"Cheer up Zack," he said, handing the pen back over. He wasn't needlessly cruel after all. "No need to get upset." Zack's face cheered up instantly.

_Click_

Genesis surpressed a groan. He really needed to get out of here and go back to his apartment. Eat some take-out, maybe watch a movie. Just relax. But first he needed Zack to sign that paper. "Hey Zack," he began, a brilliant plan forming in his head.

"Yeah?" the young SOLDIER replied, tilting his head to the side.

_Just like a puppy,_ Genesis thought to himself before replying. "You know, i Heard Angeal made a lovely apple pie yesterday and i know he wouldn't mind sharing a slice."

"Really?" Zack asked, enthusiasm thick in his voice.

Genesis nodded his head. "However," he began, stopping Zack in his mad dash for the door. "You have to show Angeal you signed the paper first, then you can have some pie." Zack ran back to the desk and messily scrawled his name on the line. He grabbed the paper and ran out the door, kicking it open and making it slam into the wall.

Genesis sighed in relief. _Sucker,_ he thoght before walking out of Zack's office and making his way home.

-break-

_click click_

Angeal was going to kill Genesis. Zack had come running into his office, waving a paper around and yelling some nonsense about pie. When Zack calmed down enough to explain, Angeal knew that Genesis had been the one to make the puppy get pie stuck in his head. Once Zack found out there was no pie, he sat down in one of the free chairs.

_click click click_

That's when the clicking started.

_click click_

That was also 5 minutes ago.

_click click click clcik_

"Zack!" Angeal said, stopping Zack midclick.

"Yeah?" the young teen asked innocently. Angeal thought for a second. He was going to have to be crafty if he wanted Zack and his infernal pen to leave. He held out the performance report .

"Can you please take this to Sephiroth?" Zack groaned, not wanting to waste the effort of walking down the hall to Sephiroth's office. "He has candy in there."

Zack perked up immediately, a hopeful look on his face. The drastic change in emotion was actually quite funny. Angeal just nodded his head. A second later Zack, report and pen in tow, were out of the room and out of his hair. Angeal smirked to himself. _Let Sephiroth deal with him,_ he thought with glee before turning back to the paper in front of him.

-break-

_click click_

Sephiroth had no idea why they were created. None at all. But he was going to find the person who invented the pen Zack was currently clicking and strangle him.

_click click click click_

And soon too...

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><p><em>authors note:<br>and so ends another chapter of InSaniTy... i hope yall liked it... read and review please ^.^ ideas are much appreciated...  
>also, thanks to those who've taken the time to review the weirdness from my brain, known as this story ^.^<em>


	6. Chapter 6 stupidity

**Disclaimer:** sadly, I don't own any of the hotties from ffvii... *sigh*  
>oh, before i begin... sorry for the retarded update... ive had this written since like friday, but my computer hates me with a vengeance...<p>

Ch.6- stupidity

Truth be told, the three elite SOLDIERS weren't the biggest fans of the infirmary. Too many connections to the science department. However, none hated that floor more than Sephiroth.

Jade green eyes darted around the room as the silver general stalked down the hall. Zack had managed to injure himself. No one knew how, they just knew he managed to. Since Angeal was away on a mission, Sephiroth promised his friend to check up on the puppy and make sure he didn't damage anything permanently. So, here he was. In the infirmary. Someone kill him now.

Sephiroth hesitated in front of the closed door to Zack's temporary room. He probably should've found someone else to go instead. Bright green eyes swept the room around him warily. He wasn't afraid of the infirmary, or any hospital for that matter. No, of course not. He was the silver General of ShinRa for crying out loud. The strongest man in the world. He shivered slightly. No, he wasn't afraid, but it sure gave him the creeps.

He took a deep breath and opened the door. Zack was sitting up in the hospital bed, his right arm and leg in braces. A familiar shock of blond hair was sitting in the chair next to him. Not really surprising, considering Zack almost always dragged the cadet around when he was planning on doing something unintelligent. They where laughing at something when he walked in, and didn't really seem to notice his presence. Sephiroth cleared his throat, making the blond cadet jump.

"Hiya Seph!" Zack said enthusiastically, obviously not injured enough to damper his spirits. Sephiroth glared at the nickname.

"Sir," the cadet, Cloud, greeted, standing up and snapping a quick salute before sitting back down. Sephiroth nodded his head in acknowledgement, before taking the spare chair and setting it on the opposite side of the bed from Cloud.

"Whatcha up to Seph?" Zack asked, grinning widely.

Sephiroth just gave him a strange look before replying, "I came to see how you-" He never got a chance to finish, for Zack decided to interrupt him.

"Awwwww! That's so cute! Sephy was worried about me and came to see how i was doing." The energetic SOLDIER turned to Cloud, "See! I told you he wasn't all cold and meany like! I told you-"

"Zack!" Sephiroth interrupted, hitting Zack on the head lightly. Zack had the good graces to look embarrassed. "Quit interrupting. It's rude and unbecoming of a SOLDIER."

Zack ducked his head, "Sorry." Cloud just chuckled lightly.

"If you're finished interrupting me,"Sephiroth began again, putting emphasis on the word finished. Zack just nodded his head. "Good. I was going to say how Angeal heard you were hurt and sent me here to check up on you. Just to make sure you didn't injure yourself too badly. Although," he paused, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling, "I don't think it's possible for you to get seriously injured."

Zack just stared for a moment. "I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted at that statement."

"Insulted, I think," Cloud commented.

"Hey!" Zack cried out indignantly before crossing his arms and pouting. Sephiroth just stared at Zack like he grew an extra head, while Cloud chuckled once again.

"Anyways," Cloud began, waving his hand. "You never did say how you got injured Zack."

Zack's expression brightened up immediately. "That's right! Well me and Reno-" Sephiroth groaned internally. Those two together was never a good thing. "-were bored and decided to turn the 58th floor into a giant slip 'n slide. It was totally awesome." At the blank looks he was receiving, Zack elaborated. "We took a hose, hooked it up to the faucet in the janitor's closet and completely soaked the floor. We then took a running jump, then slid all the way down the hall." Zack puffed his chest out proudly, as if he had done something intelligent.

Cloud frowned, "That still doesn't explain how you got injured." Sephiroth was speechless, the whole situation was getting weirder and weirder. Although, that was pretty normal around Zack.

"Oh," the raven-haired teen said, rubbing the back of his head with his good hand. "I might have took too much of a running leap. Instead of stopping short of the far wall, I kinda ran right into it. Hurt like hell too." Cloud blinked a couple of times before laughing out loud, falling on the floor in the process.

Zack wasn't amused, and Sephiroth was even more confused than earlier. "Wow Zack," Cloud managed between bouts of laughter. "That was kinda dumb, even for you." Zack crossed his arms and tried to give Cloud his best pout, but the blond was too busy laughing to notice.

Sephiroth smiled slightly and decided to take his leave, convinced that Zack was fine. He stood up, and left unnoticed, Zack and the Cadet too busy to see his departure. Sephiroth strode back down the hallway towards the elevator, eager to get back to his apartment. Afterall, he had to tell Angeal just how much his student was prone to acts of stupidity.

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><p><em>author's note:<br>and so zack decides to do something stupid... not something new ^.^ oh well, thats zack for you...  
>Huge thanks to HazzaTL3 and TrissiE for reviewing! i love reviews!<br>and yes, TrissiE, Zack is VERY ADHD... and he's awesome because of it ^.^  
>anyways, read, review, and hopefully enjoy!<em>


	7. Chapter 7 oops

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters, although if someone knows of a way that I could, please feel free to pm me... ^.^

Ch. 7- oops...

Zack was a great SOLDIER, and a great person, no doubt about it. He was quick footed, graceful, and never failed to brighten up a room with his ever-present smile. You could always count on him in your time of need, and he would be the best person anyone would have the pleasure of knowing, as many can attest to.

However, if someone ever said that Zack was smart, they were probably lying to you. Or they were afraid of the repercussions of saying otherwise. Not that he was stupid. No, far from it. He was just prone to acts of thoughtlessness. Now being the perfect example.

When Cloud had come back on base after patrol, he wasn't expecting to see a depressed Zack sitting outside the entrance to the main building. Since it was well past midnight, he really wasn't expecting to see anyone. He walked cautiously up to his uncharacteristically sad friend. Zack didn't seem to notice him coming at all. He just stared morosely down at his hands. Cloud squatted down next to Zack, putting his hand on the older man's shoulder. He really didn't know what to say to cheer up the usually energetic SOLDIER. Seeing Zack so sad was definitely a first for the young cadet.

"Zack?" He asked quietly, shaking the other man's shoulder slightly. "Zack, are you okay?"

Zack just looked up at him. Cloud couldn't help the sharp intake of breath when he saw the unshed tears twinkling within those mako blue orbs. All of his hesitation fled his body, and he gathered Zack in a tight hug. It wasn't much, but it was the only way that he could think of to console his friend. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, not bothering to say anything. It wasn't long before Zack gave a quiet sigh. "Cloud?" he whispered tentatively, his voice laden with sadness.

Cloud drew back to once again look at his friend. "Yes?" he replied, silently vowing to do what it took to make his friend happy again.

"Can you do something for me?" His eyes searched Cloud's, pleading him to answer yes.

"Of course. Anything. What do you need?"

Zack studied Cloud's face for a second, before sighing again. "Can you-" he hesitated, "Can you pack my stuff and bring it out for me?"

Cloud made a surprised noise and sat back in shock. He definitely wasn't expecting a request like that. He studied his friend's face, looking for any hint that Zack was just pulling some elaborate joke on him.

Even through the shadows hiding a large portion of his face, Cloud could tell Zack was serious. "What-" he half choked out before taking a deep breath and starting over. "What do you mean pack your stuff? How come? Are you leaving ShinRa?" He looked at Zack anxiously, hoping this was just some untasteful joke that Zack was playing on him.

Zack shook his head. "No, I don't want to leave. I like it here. But-" He looked back down at his lap, refusing to continue.

Cloud lifting his chin, forcing him to look into Cloud's eyes. "But what Zack? What's going on."

Zack bit his lip. "I don't think I'm welcome at ShinRa anymore."

Cloud was confused, and more than a little shocked. "What? That's impossible! You're one of the best SOLDIERS here! They wouldn't kick you out for no reason. What makes you think you aren't welcome anymore?" He was halfway hysterical at the thought of ShinRa with no Zack, it would be utter hell.

"That's what I thought. But I went to walk into the main building, and the door wouldn't open. I swiped my keycard, thinking it was locked, and tried the door again, But it still wouldn't open. I remember Angeal telling me about how when a SOLDIER was discharged from ShinRa, their keycards wouldn't work anymore." he shrugged slightly, and went back to staring at his hands lying on his lap. "So, I just figured-" he whispered, emotion making his voice crack at the end.

Cloud stared confusedly at his friend. As far as he knew, the front door to the building didn't have a lock. Didn't really need one when only authorized personnel were allowed on base. He stood up and walked over to the door. He paused for a moment, looking back over his shoulder at Zack. He then reached to the shiny handle and pulled. The door came open easily.

He heard a gasp behind him, and saw that Zack had jumped to his feet in surprise. "How did you do that? I tried for hours to get that door open, and you get it open on the first try?" He started pacing around in front of Cloud, a little bit of his energy coming back to him. Cloud just stared on in confusion as Zack started mumbling to himself.

It was then that he had an idea. _No,_ he thought to himself._ Surely not..._ "Zack," he said, stopping Zack in his tracks, his left foot half raised to take another step. "How did you try to open the door?"

Zack just looked at him as if he asked a stupid question. "I _told_ you Spiky. I came in a couple hours ago and tried to push the door open, which it wouldn't. Why? Do you have an idea as to why the door wouldn't open?" His eyes held a hopeful gleam in them.

Cloud just stood there for a moment in silence, then fell to the floor laughing. He clutched his side as his laughter echoed off the concrete surrounding them. Zack gave Cloud an indignant look, and crossed his arms. "What's so funny?" he asked in annoyance. Cloud couldn't answer, for he started laughing even harder. He just pointed at the door. Zack followed his finger, and saw a little sign just underneath the door handle.

He took a step closer to get a look at it, careful not to step on the laughing cadet. He read the sign and stared for a moment, before slapping his forehead at the stupid move he had made. The little sign said 'Pull' in bold letters. _Well,_ Zack thought to himself as he looked down at his laughing friend, _At least that means I wasn't kicked out of ShinRa. There's something to be glad for._

_Even if,_ a little voice said in the back of his mind, _it meant you had to look like an idiot after pushing open the door you were supposed to pull open._ Zack just shook his head and chuckled, picking Cloud up by the back of his uniform. At least he knew he could count on Cloud to do something for him.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note:<br>__ah, and the madness continues ^.^ i truly enjoyed writing this chapter, has to be my most favorite yet, besides the war with the spider ^.^...  
><em>_*shakes head* Anyways, please review! especially if you've done what Zack did ^.^ I know i have on many different occasions... so dont feel bad =D everyone does it at one point or another..._

_Thanks to HazzaTL3 for reviewing! i love reviews, they make me happy…. virtual cookies for you ^.^  
><em>_Anyways... i hoped you all enjoyed this chapter! until next time!_


	8. Chapter 8 chocobos

**disclaimer: ***sigh* no, i don't own...  
>before i begin, sorry if i confused anyone with the last chapter... i might have written it in the dead of night when i couldn't sleep... so... yeah ^.^<p>

Ch. 8- chocobos

Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He was going to kill the culprit. As soon as he was found, however. Someone had thought it would be "funny" if they released chocobos in the ShinRa building.

5 very annoying, very loud, and very hyper chocobos. Gaia kill him now. At least they knew how many were in the building. The culprit actually painted numbers on the side of each of the birds before letting them loose. His phs rang, and he saw Tseng's name pop up on the little screen. "Any luck?" he asked the head Turk, trying to keep his annoyance out of his voice.

_No,_ Tseng's voice said on the other line._ We have found numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5 but 4 remains missing._

Sephiroth's eye twitched. This fourth chocobo was a smart one. He has yet to be seen by any of the SOLDIERS or Turks. A feat in itself. It was this chocobo that was giving Sephiroth his headache. "All right," he replied, "Keep looking. I think I am going to send the SOLDIERS to the top floor and have them search each floor until they reach the lobby."

_Affirmative,_ Tseng replied before hanging up. Sephiroth closed his phs and stuck it back in his pocket, before setting off towards the group of SOLDIERS awaiting his orders.

-break—

Sephiroth was pacing in circles now. They had searched for 3 hours. 3 freaking hours. And they still haven't found the 4th chocobo. Everyone else was keeping their distances. They weren't even going to try to get anywhere near the General until he calmed down and the murderous gleam left his eye. Smart move.

Well, mostly smart.

A small cadet had the audacity to walk up to him. "Sir?" The small cadet asked shakily after giving a quick salute.

Sephiroth focused his gaze on the cadet, "What?" He demanded, his patience wearing thin. The cadet seemed to shrink into himself, and Sephiroth almost smirked at the fear his was putting into the cadet. Almost.

"W-well u-umm," He started nervously. "There is no 4th chocobo, sir."

Sephiroth just stared at the small cadet and his fearful blue eyes. Had he been in a better mood, he would have thought they looked nice. Not right now, though. "What do you mean cadet?" Sephiroth asked through clenched teeth.

The cadet paled even further. "There is only 4 chocobos," he said in a quiet voice.

Sephiroth's eye twitched, and he grabbed onto the cadet, making him squeak. His green eyes bore into the cadet's blue ones. "Do you mean to tell me that there are only 4 chocobos, and we spent the last 3 FREAKING hours looking for something that wasn't here?"

The cadet just stared fearfully at his commanding officer. He nodded, unable to speak.

Sephiroth was more than annoyed now. He was livid. Nobody wasted his time on a wild goose chase. "I see," he said in a low voice as he let the cadet go. "And do you know who released the chocobos Cadet—"

"Strife, sir." The cadet managed.

"Cadet strife?" Sephiroth finished. The cadet looked thoughtful for a moment, before nodding his head.

"It was Zack, sir." He said before turning and running back to the safety of the others. Sephiroth stood there frozen. He should have known. Of COURSE Zack would release chocobos into the ShinRa building. _The damn kid would do it just for the heck of it too,_ Sephiroth thought before pulling out his phs and accessing the trace program he had on it. He was going to find Zack.

And probably maim him in some way.

-break—

Zack had never had so much fun in his entire life. Sephiroth looked so annoyed, it was great. Too bad he couldn't laugh. Nope, it would give him away. And since said annoyed general wasn't more than 50 feet away, that would be a bad thing. Zack's hand searched for the bowl of popcorn he had brought, eyes never leaving the pacing general.

It was empty. Damn. _Oh well,_ Zack shrugged, _he could always get more later._

Zack watched as one of the cadets grew brave enough to face the annoyed General. Zack couldn't see who it was, since Sephiroth was blocking his view of the cadet, but Zack didn't think it would matter. Sephiroth was funner to watch anyways.

After a minute, the terrified cadet left, and Zack had to try really hard not to laugh at the poor cadet's hurry to get away. Had he been paying more attention, he might have noticed the small beep that came from his phs. Alas, he didn't. He watched Sephiroth walk up to the assembled SOLDIERS and cadets. They seem to talk for a moment, before they dispersed. Sephiroth stayed where he was, watching his phs intently for some reason. The silver general then left the room using a hall to Zack's right.

Zack sat there for a moment, they always met back in this room, and Sephiroth usually stayed near it. So, Zack didn't see the need to follow his quarry, when Sephiroth was bound to return.

And return he did. Using the hall for his immediate left. The same hall that was less than 4 feet away from his hiding spot behind a bunch of plants. Zack held still, waiting for Sephiroth to continue on his way.

He didn't.

In fact, Sephiroth turned in his direction and looked right at him.

_This isn't good_, Zack thought to himself.

"Zack," Sephiroth growled menacingly. That one word was all it took. Zack took off down out of his hiding space and down the hall some of the cadet's used. He was going as fast as he could, hoping to put some distance between himself and the livid general. "You are so dead Fair!" Zack heard Sephiroth yell out.

Zack turned his head to see how much of a head start he had, still running full force down the hall. A second later, he hit a wall. Hard.

He laid on the floor, dazed. Zack looked up and saw a grinning Sephiroth masamune held at his side. Zack shivered slightly at the murderous glint he saw in his friend's eyes. "Hiya Seph." He said, grinning up at Sephiroth.

He probably should be running, or at least fearful for his life. Those were the smartest things to do. But then again, Zack wasn't known for being intelligent.

-break—

Cloud heard Zack's laughter coming from down the hall, around the corner he had just turned. He looked back the way he came just in time to see Zack run right into the wall and fall down. Sephiroth came not much later, masamune in hand.

He should feel bad for ratting out his friend.

He smirked. But he didn't. _It's what he deserves after dragging me along on all his prank outings, _he thought with glee. _Besides, it's not like the general was actually going to kill Zack._ He turned around and walked back to his bunk, smiling the entire way.

* * *

><p><em>Authors note:<br>=D that was fun... i think... *shruggs* oh well. read and review please... ^.^  
>thanks to HazzaTL3 for reviewing ^.^ <em>  
>and you lovely readers for reading... even if you dont review ^.^<p> 


	9. Chapter 9 mail

**Disclaimer:** No, i do not own the strangeness known as Zack Fair...  
>at least, im pretty sure i dont... *looks thoughtful*<p>

Ch. 9- mail

The sight of mail in one's mailbox is usually not something to get excited over. In fact, it's mostly quite the opposite. Unless you're expecting something, the mail is looked down upon. Since a large percentage of a person's mail is bills, its not all that strange to see someone look at their mailbox in hate.

But, as I said earlier, the only time someone is excited to get mail is when they are expecting something. In one SOLDIER'S case, this is especially true.

Zack Fair, the "puppy" of ShinRa's SOLDIERS, was expecting a package today. And he had to make sure everyone else knew about it.

"How about now, Angeal?" Zack asked his mentor impatiently. Angeal just sighed. Why the puppy was expecting a package at his house was beyond him. But, he wasn't going to say anything. That would only bring forth the puppy eyes of doom, and Zack would be able to get him to do almost anything with that look. He shuddered slightly. Nope, no puppy eyes.

So, instead, he decided to indulge his student for a short while. "Not yet Zack." He smiled at Zack's pout. "The mail shouldn't be here for another 5 minutes."

"Yay!" Zack exclaimed, not at all put off by having to wait longer. Angeal chuckled at his student's energy. It was one of the things that had drawn Angeal to the young SOLDIER. "I sooo can't wait for it to get here! I've been waiting absolutely forever. Aren't you excited Angeal?" The older SOLDIER didn't even get a chance to answer before his student continued. "Of course you are. It's mail! I Just love mail. It's so much fun. Except the mailman. I don't like him. He wouldn't let me ride in his van."

Zack continued talking for what seemed like ages. It was a good thing Angeal was used to his puppy's energetic monologues. At least it meant he didn't have to reply. Angeal had turned back to the book he had been reading, effectively drowning out his student's chatter.

Then they heard a knock at the door.

Zack was thrilled.

"Yay!" he exclaimed and ran for the door. He ripped the door open excitedly, almost tearing the thing off the hinges. It's a good thing ShinRa had the SOLDIER'S apartments built a little sturdier than normal. Angeal nodded at his mailman, who smiled in return. He was a nice man, and had been delivering Angeal's mail for a long time. On occasion, the SOLDIER would make the man a dumbapple pie, and the mailman would have the brightest grin on his face. One to even rival Zack's.

Before long, the door was closed and Zack came bounding back onto the couch, package in hand. He tossed Angeal a couple letters and set to tearing his package open.

Angeal looked over his mail and saw only the usual bills and advertisements. He set them on the coffee table, content to look at them later. Right now, his puppy was much more interesting to watch.

Zack tore the package open, revealing a plain brown box about the size of a toaster oven. Zack pulled out a pocket knife, which was a surprise for Angeal because he didn't even know his student had a pocket knife, and cut the tape off the top.

He looked up at Angeal enthusiastically, and the older SOLDIER smiled at his student. Zack gave a brilliant smile in return before returning to the package. He pulled out a bunch of bubble wrap and set it off to the side. He reached, what seemed to Angeal, the bottom of the box and pouted. He reached one hand, searching around for something. He pulled his empty hand back out and looked at his mentor, a pout fully formed on his face.

"What's wrong, Zack?" Angeal was slightly worried now. Zack hadn't pulled anything out of the box besides the bubble wrap. "Did you not get what you ordered?" Zack looked back down at the box but said nothing. "We can call the company and tell them that you didn't receive your item. I'm sure they will resend it."

Zack shook his head. "That's not it, Angeal." He lifted his head and looked back up at his mentor, a little bit of energy returning to his expression. "I thought they would have given me more."

Angeal was confused. _More? More of what?_ He thought to himself before repeating the question out loud. "More of what Zack?"

Zack smiled at his mentor before grabbing a piece of bubble wrap.

_Pop_

"More bubble wrap of course."

_Pop _

_Pop_

_Pop_

Angeal stared at his student dumbfounded. Zack had ordered…. bubble wrap?

_Pop_

Angeal flinched at the offending noise.

_Pop_

Of course, he did.

_Pop_

Zack sat there, a look of extreme joy on his face while he continued to pop his new toy.

_Pop_

_Pop_

Angeal flinched. He was going to kill his student. Maybe this time, he'll actually succeed.

_Pop_

And not get distracted by the puppy eyes of doom.

_Pop_

* * *

><p><em>Author's note:<br>And so Zack's strangeness continues ^.^  
>i hope you all enjoyed it... i know i did ^.^<br>Thanks to those who've reviewed so far! i love reviews ^.^  
>anyways, read, review, and enjoy! ^.^<br>_


	10. Chapter 10 missing

**Disclaimer:** yes, i know i don't own this... stop rubbing it in... *sniffle*

Ch. 10-missing

Zack was known for many things. Having an unnaturally high amount of energy was one. Being extremely loud was another.

However, Zack has never ever been known to be quiet.

So when Angeal couldn't find Zack anywhere, he knew something was wrong. Usually, all he had to do was follow the trail of chaos and amused grins to find his puppy. However, today Zack couldn't be found.

Angeal needed to tell Zack about his newest mission, since the young man wasn't answering his phone. Angeal had looked practically everywhere and yet the black haired teen couldn't be found anywhere. This is definitely a bad thing.

Angeal really didn't want to do Zack's mission for him. Some stupid reconnaissance mission. Someone was stalking members of ShinRa, and it was starting to get out of hand. A couple of cadets, and even a few SOLDIERS were taken to the infirmary because they started having panic attacks. Nope, Angeal really didn't want to do his puppy's mission. He sighed, he just hoped he found Zack soon before someone was seriously injured.

-break—

He crept slowly down the hallway, his prey oblivious to his presence. He moved from shadow to shadow in perfect stealth. No one would know he was there until it was too late. Something the little cadet would learn all too soon.

-break—

Angeal was getting worried now. It had been almost 5 hours since someone had last seen Zack. Angeal frowned slightly, it was so unlike his puppy to be gone for so long. _It's as if he just disappeared._ Angeal froze at the thought. It WAS almost as if his student had disappeared. Maybe he was taken by the weirdo prowling the halls of ShinRa. Angeal started walking again, heading as fast as he could to the nearest security office. He didn't know what to think, but according to the reports, the last person to have come in contact with the unknown stalker was last seen about the same time Zack disappeared.

Angeal shook his head, not liking where his train of thought was leading him. Zack couldn't be in serious trouble.

Could he?

-break—

He stalked the oblivious cadet down yet another hallway. It had taken a long time, but he finally had his prey right where he wanted him. His hard work and patience had paid off in the end.

The cadet stopped midstep and looked around him, as if sensing his presence. The man smirked as he shuffled deeper into the shadow he was currently hiding in. Yes, he would finally be able to get his prey.

And no one would be able to stop him.

-break—

Cloud was starting to get annoyed. The hairs on the back of his neck kept standing on end, and it was making him paranoid.

The fact that there was a rumor that there was someone stalking the halls of ShinRa, and sending cadets to the infirmary didn't help any. He paused midstep and looked around, his blond spikes swishing slightly. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get the little hairs to stay down.

_There's nothing there, _he chanted to himself._ Quit being such a pansy._

He smiled to himself slightly and started walking back towards the his dorm room. _At least Zack hasn't bothered me today._

-break—

The little blond cadet reached the door to his room, and he decided it was time to pounce. He gathered himself in a little crouch before springing out of his hiding spot and tackling the cadet.

The cadet yelped, and screamed in panic. He had the cadet pinned to the floor, and he smirked at the young blond beneath him. The cadet wasn't going to be escaping anytime soon.

-break—

Angeal was starting to lose hope. He had gone through the footage, and it didn't seem as if Zack was anywhere. He knew the youth would be able to take care of himself, but that didn't prevent Angeal from being a little worried for his student.

Zack might be annoying, but he was great to be around with his endless enthusiasm and happiness. Angeal walked out of the security office, a sad look on his face. He was about to make his way back to his apartment, ready to stop and come up with a plan of action, when a shriek of fear rang through the hallway not too far from him.

All thoughts of Zack fled his mind as he took off in the general direction of the yell. If he couldn't find his puppy, the least he could do was capture the stalker and force the location of his student out of him. Angeal turned the hall and was met with the sight of someone wearing all black, sitting on top of what looked like a cadet.

"Zack!" The cadet yelled in annoyance, and Angeal stopped in his tracks.

He was confused. _Zack?_

-break—

Cloud was annoyed now. He tried to wiggle out from underneath his friend, but Zack wasn't letting him up. "You are such an idiot!" He said annoyed.

Zack dramatically grabbed at his heart, "Ouch. That hurts spiky! I just wanted to say hi." He grinned down at Cloud.

Cloud huffed, "Well, you couldn've said hi like any other normal person. You didn't have to tackle me." If his arms weren't pinned at his side, he would have crossed them.

Zack whined, "But being normal is boring! I like to be me so much better!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, "Can you please get off me now?"

Zack chuckled and thoughtfully tapped his chin, "Hmmmm I don't know…."

"Zachary," a deep voice said from behind Zack, making him jump. "Get off of the cadet right now."

Zack jumped up and looked at the frown his mentor was giving him. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Hiya Angeal!" he said, hoping to distract the older SOLDIER.

"Zachary, where have you been? I can't tell you how long I've been looking for you!" Angeal was practically livid.

Zack ducked his head in embarrassement. "Sorry Angeal. I was just saying hi to Cloud here," he gestured towards the cadet who was on his feet and trying to creep away from the mad SOLDIER. Cloud stopped in his tracks and shot Zack a glare.

Angeal let his gaze soften slightly and sighed. "Zack… Where have you been? You have a mission that needs to be done. Someone has been stalking the halls of ShinRa, and he or she needs to be found before any more cadets or SOLDIERS are sent to the infirmary."

Zack was scratching the back of his head, before he stopped moving suddenly. "Infirmary?" He squeaked out.

Angeal nodded his head. "Yes 15 cadets and 7 SOLDIERS have been sent to the infirmary because they were having extreme cases of panic attacks. A couple had to even be sedated." Angeal stared at his puppy's sick look. "What's wrong Zack?"

"I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt!" He blurted out, causing Cloud to jump and scurry a few feet away. Angeal was confused but didn't get a chance to talk before Zack started again. "I was bored! And I figured that it would keep them on their toes, and make sure to stay aware of their surroundings. Good training and all of that! I didn't mean to have them get hurt!"

Angeal covered Zack's mouth with his hand, muffling Zack's further rant. "What do you mean you didn't want anyone to get hurt Zack?"

Zack paused, and looked down at his feet. Cloud boldly slapped Zack's arms, causing Zack to look at him. Cloud gestured towards Angeal, and Zack looked at his mentor sheepishly. "I, umm, might be the, uh, reason why people are getting sent to the infirmary." Zack stopped, and Cloud nudged his arm to continue.

Zack looked at his mentor's befuddled expression and sighed. "I was bored, so I started jumping out at people out of the shadows." He took a deep breath. "You said it was always a good idea to be aware of your surroundings. I was just trying to help others realize that." Zack looked apologetically at Angeal.

-break—

Angeal stood there staring in surprise at his student. He then slapped his forehead.

Zack was going to be the death of him one day. For now… He grabbed the back of his puppy's collar, Zack having decided to try to make a run for it. He tried to get out of Angeal's iron strong grip, but he failed. He looked sheepishly over his shoulder at his mentor. "Zack," Angeal said sternly. "Apologize to the cadet. Then we will be going to the infirmary, where you will have to apologize to everyone there that you scared."

Zack whined, and Angeal shook his collar. Zack sighed. "Sorry Cloudie," he mumbled. Cloud nodded his head, before turning on his heel and walking into his room. Angeal turned around, dragging his puppy with him.

Leave it to Zack to do something like this. And to think, for a moment he was worried for Zack.

Next time he wouldn't worry and just wait for Zack to show up.

_Goddess, let's hope there isn't a next time._ He thought before tugging on Zack's collar once more.

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>and another chapter of randomness is born... Sorry if i unintentionally confuse anyone with this chapter... i might've been half asleep when i wrote it...  
>anyways i hope you enjoyed... and review please!<br>thanks goes to those who reviewed last chapter! it is much apprecieated ^.^_


	11. Chapter 11 Do Not Touch

**disclaimer:** *sigh* yes i know i don't own... don't rub it in...

Ch. 11- Do Not, and I repeat Do Not Touch

Another Day.

Another rule that Zack decided to break.

Another exasperated Angeal.

It was sad how routine Angeal's life was becoming around Zack. He would start off the day relatively happy, but as the day slowly progressed he would get more and more annoyed. And his new apprentice, Zack, was almost always involved in some fashion.

Gaia, save him now.

-break—

Angeal rubbed his forehead, a headache quickly growing. It seems as if his new student just never stopped. Never stopped moving, never stopped talking, never stopped being overall hyperactive and annoying. At first, Angeal had been drawn to the boy because of these traits. Not any more.

"Ok, now Zack, do you remember what I just said?" Angeal said slowly, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"Uh huh. Yep. You bet." The human puppy replied bouncing up and down and nodding his head.

Angeal put his hands on the young teens shoulder's, trying to keep him in one place. "Good. Then what did I say."

A contemplative look came across Zack's face. "Umm something about the commander and not touching/insulting that book he always carries around."

Angeal suppressed a relieved sigh. It seemed as if his new apprentice could listen. "Very good." Zack's face stretched into a grin. "Now remember, Commander Rhapsodos is very particular about that book, and has been known to send anyone who insults it to the infirmary. Understand?"

Zack nodded his head solemnly, "Like that Third Class the other day." Zack was silent a moment before speaking again, "Don't worry Angeal," he began, a grin growing on his face. "I won't do anything to annoy the Commander."

-break—

Now, when Angeal heard that he believed his student. Zack was pretty intelligent, on most days. Especially when it came to his safety, or the safety of others. Also, he didn't know of his student's fondness for pulling pranks. So when he saw his student running for his life down the halls, a livid Genesis on his heels, Angeal was quite surprised.

"Angeeeeeeaaaallllllll!" Zack said, running behind his mentor. "Save meeeeeeee!"

Angeal stepped forward and grabbed his childhood friend, making sure to keep a good hold on him. "Genesis!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing?"

The red clad commander struggled, "Let me go Angeal! I'm going to kill him!"

Zack whimpered, and Angeal shook his friend to get his attention. "No," he practically growled. "Now, tell me what happened before I drag you to the Director's office."

Genesis stopped struggling and settled on glaring over Angeal's shoulder at Zack. "That little runt," he gestured with his head. "Took my precious LOVELESS and hid it in the cadet's barracks! Do you know what condition it was in when I finally found it? It was horrendous."

Angeal looked disbelievingly at his student before addressing Genesis again. "And what makes you think Zack did it?"

Genesis started struggling in Angeal's grasp with renewed vigor. "The little bastard wrote 'Zack was here' on the inside cover. Now let me go so I can kill him!"

Angeal just sighed before dropping his arms. Both Zack and Genesis froze in surprise, neither expecting Angeal to actually let go. "Just don't hurt him too bad. I still need him fit enough for training." He then stepped away and gave Genesis a clear view of Zack.

Zack gaped at his mentor for a moment, before turning and running as fast as he could down the hall. "Get back here!" Genesis roared before pursuing. Angeal watched them turn the corner before shaking his head, and making his way back to his apartment.

Ok, maybe letting Genesis loose on Zack was a little harsh. But Zack needed to learn to follow the rules. Even if that meant having to run from a livid Genesis.

After all, Zack had been warned, hadn't he?

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>ok, now please do not kill me for this chapter... originally, i didn't want it to end like that... but the story flowed that way and i didn't want to change it... Sorry...  
>i know this one isn't as funny as the others... but *shrug*<br>im in an evil mood if anyone hasn't noticed... ^.^ besides, its not like genesis is actually going to hurt Zack...  
>Genesis: WHAT! BUT HE-<br>Me: shut it... you aren't hurting zack and thats final... be lucky i let you chase him...  
>Genesis: *mumbles curses*<br>Me: *glare and slaps genesis upside head*  
>Anyways... ignore my weirdness... read, enjoy and review!<br>Also, huge thanks to those who are reviewing! you guys make my day every time i read a review! Keep it up! ^.^  
><em>


	12. Chapter 12 utter madness

**disclaimer:** no, i do not own... not necessarily a bad thing, though, since now i wont have to deal with Zack and reno's pranks...

i would like to give a huge thanks to loveless an the living fantasy for giving me the idea for the chapter! thanks for the suggestion! ^.^

Ch. 12- Utter madness

It was silent at ShinRa. There was no one in the halls, and everything seemed peaceful. Not really surprising considering it was 1:00 in the morning. No one in his or her right mind would be up walking around at that time.

However, it seemed as if one person wasn't in their right mind.

Someone turned the corner into the hall. They moved quietly in socked feet trying hard to been as silent as possible. They opened the door to the stairwell carefully, so that the door didn't squeak. The door clicked quietly behind them.

A half hour later and 50 stories higher another stairwell door opened. Very few people knew this, but his particular floor housed the General himself, as well as the two Commanders. Teeth gleamed in the near darkness as the person smirked. We notice for the first time the bag he carries in his hands. He walks down the hall to stop in front of the General's door, still smiling evilly. There is a little security light over the doorway, and if we squint, we can just make out spiky black hair.

Zack pulled out the keycard he had swiped from Sephiroth that morning. He slid it into the reader, and the door opened with a soft beep. "Time for some fun," he whispered to himself before walking into the General's apartment, quietly closing the door in his wake.

-break—

Zack was missing.

Again.

Now, normally Angeal would have freaked out. His student was missing afterall, and usually Zack was pretty easy to find. As long as you followed the trail of chaos that followed in the young man's wake.

However, after the "ShinRa stalker" incident (in which Zack decided to walk around scaring the crap out of people), Angeal couldn't find it in himself to be worried. Zack was always pulling pranks and if he was missing, it was because he wanted to be.

Nope, Angeal wasn't worried at all, and it didn't seem like he was going to start worrying in the near future.

That is, however, until Sephiroth barged into his office looking ready to commit murder.

"Where is he?" Sephiroth said in a deadly tone.

"Who? And what are you wearing?" Angeal replied, curious as to why his friend was wearing a hoodie in favor of his usual trenchcoat.

"You know who." Sephiroth gritted through his teeth. "Your student. Where. Is. He?"

Angeal sat back in his chair, curious as to what Zack could have possible done to piss of Sephiroth that much. "Why?" he asked. He was going to have Zack potentially murdered without knowing why.

Sephiroth glared at Angeal for a moment, before sighing and removing the hood from his head. He pulled his long hair out of the bun it was in and looked pointedly at Angeal. Angeal was speechless. His friend's normally silver hair was…. Hot pink.

Angeal covered his mouth with his hand in hopes of stifling the laugh trying to make it's way out. He took a moment to compose himself before answering. "I actually don't know Sephiroth." He stifled another laugh. "I haven't seen him all day." He chuckled quietly, unable to contain himself any longer.

Sephiroth glared at Angeal again before turning and attempting to walk out of the man's office. He was, however, stopped at the door by a very irritated Genesis. The two stared at each other before Genesis pointed to Sephiroth's hair. "Zack?" he asked not surprised in the least bit. When Sephiroth nodded, Genesis removed his own hood to reveal bright blue hair in place of his usual auburn. "Me too. Want to kill him together?"

Sephiroth smirked and nodded. The two walked out of Angeal's office and towards the elevators, ignoring the looks they were getting.

Now usually Angeal wouldn't be worried when his student went missing. He still wasn't, but now he was worried about what would happen to the young man when he was found.

-break—

Zack snickered from his hiding place in the ventilation shaft. He couldn't have thought of a better place to hide. No one would have thought that he would be hiding right where people thought to look for him first.

He stared through the vent at Angeal, who had turned back to his paperwork. Oh yeah, putting strange hair dye in the higher ups shampoo was the best prank he had ever pulled. He was going to have to think of a way to thank Reno for the great idea. Maybe a trip to that nice wutaiian place in sector 4….

He smirked at his mentor, shifting slightly into a better position. It was a good thing Angeal took a shower in the afternoon instead of the morning. Or else he would be having very pretty blond hair right now…

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>Now, i dont know about you all, but i would try my best to NOT piss of my commanding officers...  
>especially since they would have no problem with killing me...<br>although, zack isn't known for doing the smartest thing, so... ^.^  
>thanks to those who reviewed last chapter! i love you all so much for your encouragement!<br>and remember, suggestions are welcome, so feel free to review and/or pm me anything you want to see ^.^  
>until next time! <em>


	13. Chapter 13 Dead man

**Disclaimer:** sadly enough, i dont own any of these characters... although, i am trying to get the proper paperwork ^.^

ch. 13- Dead man

Zack was a dead man. That much was for certain.

Not that that was anything new. In fact, it was quite common for the raven haired SOLDIER.

Usually it was either Genesis or Sephiroth out to kill him, since they were usually the victims of his pranks. Surprisingly, however, Zack wasn't hiding from either of them. In fact, he was currently hiding in Genesis's office. No, he was hiding from someone worse than those two put together.

He was hiding from Angeal.

Now, usually the burly SOLDIER was level headed and hardly lost his cool. In fact, when someone was having emotional issues they usually went to Angeal to get them solved. Very little actually annoyed Angeal, let alone completely piss him off. Zack, it seemed, took it upon himself to find out exactly what made the older SOLDIER tick.

Let's just say he succeeded.

"Zack" the red Commander sighed, exasperated, "Tell me again exactly WHY you are hiding in my office?"

Zack looked up from his position behind Genesis's sofa, "I told yoooouuuu," he whined. "Angeal is trying to kill meeeee. I didn't even do anything!"

Genesis scoffed. "I highly doubt that."

"But Gen-Gen!" Zack whined.

Genesis just waved his protest away. "Like i said, i highly doubt YOU didn't do anything to piss of Angeal. YOU, the one who enjoys annoying people to death. You're just lucky I managed to get most of the dye out." He gestured towards his now slightly magenta looking hair. He had managed to get a lot of the blue color out of his much loved auburn locks, thanks to Reno of all people. He was just lucky that Zack had pulled the exact same prank on the turk a couple of times, else the color might never have come out. "Now, tell me. What EXACTLY did you do to Angeal to get him so pissed off at you?"

Zack smirked at himself, caught in the memory, before shaking his head and looking at Genesis sheepishly. "Umm, well, you know how i put hair dye in your's and sephy's shampoo?" Genesis played with his hair for a moment, remembering the awful color, before nodding his head. "Yeah.. well i might of, ummm..." he mumbled the end.

Even with his enhanced hearing, Genesis managed to not catch what the young SOLDIER said. "What was that?"

Zack rubbed his head sheepishly, ". Ithoughthewouldlikeit,buthedidnt!" Zack let out the pent up breath in a rush, then smiled at Genesis's baffled expression.

Genesis stared at Zack for a moment, before rubbing his head in confusion. Pulling pranks on himself and Sephiroth was one thing, pulling pranks on Angeal was another. He figured the puppy knew better.

Apparently not.

Genesis pulled out his PHS and dialed the familiar number. "You can come in now." he said, when the other line was picked up. Zack cocked his head and looked at Genesis confused before the door clicked open, to reveal a very annoyed (and very blonde) Angeal. Zack looked at his mentor in horror, before turning back to Genesis, a betrayed look on his face.

He noticed Genesis smirking evilly at him. "Traitor!" he yelled pointing at Genesis.

Said SOLDIER'S smirk only grew in size. "I told you I would get you back eventually. You didn't think i would forget, did you?" Zack only looked betrayed once more, before trying to sprint his way past Angeal.

"Oh no you don't" Angeal said, grabbing Zack by his collar. "You aren't getting away that easily." Zack attempted to struggle out of his mentor's grasp, before whining pitifully when he was shaken slightly. Angeal nodded his thanks to his childhood friend, who nodded in return, and marched out of the office, puppy in tow. Genesis stared triumphantly at his closed door for a moment before returning to the paper in front of him. While he would enjoy watching the puppy get in trouble, he almost didn't even want to know what Angeal had planned as punishment...

-break-

"Awwwww come on Angeeeeeaaaaalllll!" Zack whined from his position on the floor. "I'm tirrrreeeeeeddddd!"

Angeal just smirked, "Well, then maybe you should have thought twice before including me on your list of prank victims. Now, you heard me. Get up and finish those laps."

Zack groaned, but obediently stood up and started running around the ShinRa complex. That was the most annoying thing about Angeal's punishments. They usually involved a lot, and i mean A LOT, of physical exertion. "Why does ShinRa have to be so darn big?" he whined quietly to himself. "And why does Angeal have to be so meaaaannnn?"

"I heard that." Angeal yelled from his chair, a good fifty yards away. "Add 10 more laps to your punishment."

Zack suppressed a groan. _10 more..._ he moaned to himself._ That means I would have done over a hundred laps around this stupid building._

At times, he really hated his mentor's punishments.

Not that he'd ever tell Angeal. Nope. That was suicidal.

_Besides,_ he thought to himself, his pace slowing down slightly. _It was way worth it seeing Angeal blonde._

"Zack..." Angeal called out warningly and Zack stepped his pace back up, but smiled. _Yep, definitely worth it._

-break-

_author's note: _

_oh man, imagine my surprise when i log onto my email after an extremely horrendous week to find all of the reviews last chapter received! It was the most by far! You guys have made my mood soooo much happier! ^.^_

_Thanks a lot! ^.^ and i appreciate all of the ideas you guys have given me! in fact, i do believe i am going to try to update at least twice a week now, just to show my gratitude to you, my reviewers ^.^ so look for another chapter, most likely on tuesday... ^.^ _

_i will try to get to all of your guys' wonderful ideas ^.^ so, if it takes a couple weeks, bear with me... but i do intend to write them all! ^.^_

_this particular chapter is for valentina, who wanted to see an Angeal with blonde hair ^.^ so, here you go, please dont sic reno on me ^.^ haha_

_anyways, craziness aside, thanks for all the reviews and please keep them coming! they make me happy! ^.^_


	14. Chapter 14 Surprise?

Disclaimer: *sigh* no, i don't own... but i do have LOVELESS memorized, if that means anything... ^.^

Ch. 14- surprise!

Many weird things were considered commonplace at ShinRa. Hearing Loveless being quoted in the halls was one. Seeing Zack, a huge grin on his face, bouncing around was another. However, today the people of ShinRa saw something that definitely went to the top of the "Weirdest things ever" list: Zack reading Loveless.

Now, if asked, the people of ShinRa would say that only SOLDIER First Class Genesis Rhapsodos enjoyed Loveless. It seemed as if everyone else was sick of it being recited by the auburn SOLDIER. Zack, it seemed, didn't get that memo.

_"There is no hate, Only joy  
><em>_For you are beloved by the Goddess.  
><em>_Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds."_

Zack looked up from the passage he just got done reading. For some reason, it stood out to him. He liked the concept of a world without bad emotions like hate. He smiled to himself, completely ignoring the strange looks he was getting. Being the hero probably caught his eye a bit as well. He was going to have to get others to enjoy this poem as much as he did. He would have to thank Genesis for showing it to him...

-later that day-

Zack stood in Genesis's office staring at the older man. He was speechless, which was something that didn't come easily. He had just finished reading Loveless and, he had to admit, enjoyed it immensely. Genesis sat there, a confused look on his face. He had yet to figure out why Angeal's puppy was in his office, again. "Did you need something Zack?" He questioned, still confused.

Zack pulled out the book he held from behind his back and held it out to Genesis. It was dark blue in color with gold script on it. There had been handwriting in the back of the book, but Zack hadn't looked at it. "This is..." he stopped, unsure how to continue. Genesis smirked knowingly, but let Zack try to gather the right words. "The ending. The last stanza..."

Genesis nodded.

_"Even if the morrow is barren of promises,  
><em>_Nothing shall forestall my return.  
><em>_To become the dew that quenches the land.  
><em>_To spare the sands, the seas, the skies  
><em>_I offer thee this silent sacrifice."_

He recited from memory. That had hit him hard the first time he read it as well. "I do enjoy that part the most, i think." He added out loud.

Zack stood there, tears in his eyes. "That's beautiful," he whispered, looking down at his feet. Genesis sat there quietly. He had never seen Zack show an emotion other than happiness, and thus didn't know how to react. Zack looked up, eyes still shimmering with unshed tears, then moved forward.

And glomped Genesis.

"Thank you so much!" he wailed before burying his face in Genesis's chest. He truly was grateful. The poem, as a whole, was beautiful and he would never begrudge Genesis for constantly reciting it again.

-The next day-

"Angeal, what is wrong with your student?" Sephiroth question, looking up from his computer monitor at his friend confused.

Angeal stared at the video feed, just as baffled, "I am not sure Sephiroth. He was fine yesterday. Now, it's as if he was brainwashed or something."

They both looked at Genesis accusingly, since he was the most likely explanation for Zack's weirdness. "Hey, don't look at me like that. He asked." Genesis noticed the confused looks on their faces and decided to elaborate. "Zack asked why i enjoyed Loveless so much, so I let him borrow my copy of it. How would i know he would react like that?" He pointed to the computer monitor, which showed Zack walking around in a red coat reciting Loveless to anyone caught in his sight. "Besides, I don't know why you two are complaining! I am the one whose name he is tarnishing!"

-break-

_Author's note:_

_^.^ and so here is another chapter for InSaniTy...  
><em>_this one is for HazzaTL3. I hope you liked it ^.^  
><em>_anyways, thanks so much for all of the reviews this story has been getting... i greatly appreciate them ^.^  
><em>_please keep it up, and i hope you all enjoyed this latest installment of weirdness! ^.^_


	15. Chapter 15 I hate you

**Disclaimer:** if i owned, do you think i would be writing about them instead of staring at them?

ch. 15- I hate you...

Zack was So. Freaking. Dead.

All Cloud had to do was find him. Now, CLoud was prone to thoughts of homicide whenever Zack was around. Mainly because the energetic SOLDIER enjoyed pulling pranks and just overall annoying him. However, Zack had gone way too far this time. Locking the doors to the cadet's barracks so no one could get out was one thing.

Hacking into the P.A. system and playing the Barney song all day in said locked barracks was another.

_"I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too."_

Cloud's eye twitched for what had to be the millionth time in the last ten minutes. If he had to listen to that freaking song one more time, his head was going to explode. Based on his observations of the other cadets, who were either pounding their heads against the walls or covering their ears in pain, they weren't going to last long either.

Cloud heard a loud thump, and looked overat the door. The SOLDIER who had been inspecting the barracks, and thus had been locked in as well, was using one of the lockers to pound the door down. Not that it would work, since it seemed Zack had barracaded the doors after locking them. That didn't seem to stop the SOLDIER. _Kunsel I believe his name was_._ I thought he was a friend of Zacks._ Cloud thought to himself, somewhat confused. He was almost certain he remembered Zack mentioning Kunsel once or twice. It didn't seem as if even friends were safe.

_"I love you. You love me..."_ the song began again and Cloud groaned in pain. This was starting to get ridiculous. It was bad enough he had to listen to that stupid song at home, but now he had to listen to it here? He couldn't even figure out why Zack liked the stupid show. It was supposed to be for babies after all, and small children. Not First Class SOLDIERS. "_Won't you say you love me too._" The song stopped and Cloud sighed in relief. It was short lived, since the song would only start back up 10 seconds later, but quiet was quiet.

It also gave Cloud a chance to plot a good plan for payback. Something that involved much pain for Zack. The smirk that had grown on Cloud's face quickly disappeared once the song came back on, a grimace taking its place. He really hated that song. "I hate you." He heard quietly. Cloud looked around for the source of the words. "You hate me. Let's get together and kill Barney." Cloud looked around more, before spotting another cadet 5 feet away. He was a little bit taller than Cloud, with short brown hair. He was one of the ones who didn't pick on Cloud.

"With a great big knife and a stab from me and you." Cloud smirked at the cadet's words, they were funny and surprisingly blocking out the sound of the other song. "Won't you say you hate him too." The other cadet smiled to himself as the song ended.

Cloud shuffled closer to the other cadet. "Where did you hear that?" He asked, startling the other cadet.

The cadet looked at him for a moment before shaking his head. "I am not sure," he answered quietly. "I remember hearing it while i was young and it kinda just stuck with me. I found it helped block out the sound of the real song." He smiled. "I am Bryce by the way." He held out his hand.

Cloud smiled and shook his hand in return. "Cloud." He looked at the other cadet thoughtfully for a moment, "Hey you want to help me with something?"

The other cadet looked wary. "With what?" he asked suspiciously.

Cloud just smirked evilly. "Getting payback on the person who locked us in and started playing Barney over the intercom system."

"You know who did it?" Bryce asked, surprised.

Cloud nodded. "I am pretty sure i know who it is. So, you in?"

The other cadet nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

-break-

Zack was rolling on the floor. Still.

Even hours after the cadet's managed to escape thanks to Kunsel, Zack still found their looks of horror hysterical. It was something that would keep him laughing for a long time.

Now, if he had been paying a little bit more attention, he would have noticed that distinctive click of his front door opening. Had he been paying attention, he would have noticed the people walking in. Sadly enough, he was way too busy laughing instead. So, when he felt a sharp pain on his arm, he was surprised before darkness overcame him.

So much for being a SOLDIER First Class.

-break-

When Zack came to, he noticed right away that he was tired to a chair, and it was dark. He tried to break the bonds, but nothing happened. _Must be SOLDIER proof then._ He thought to himself, analyzing the situation. He heard someone shuffle in front of him before a light was clicked on, blinding him. "First Class SOLDIER, Zack Fair?" the person said in a low voice.

"So what if i am?" he replied. "Who are you?" The other person just chuckled, and Zack couldn't helped but recognize the sound. It rang a dim bell... whatever else Zack might have thought was forgotten when he heard a click and the beginning sounds of the Barney theme song came one. He laughed. "Barney? You are going to torture me with Barney?" He laughed once more. "Good luck with that one. Obviously you didn't do your homework."

The person chuckled again, before stepping forward to reveal Cloud. An evilly smirking Cloud. "Oh no, Zack" he replied in a calm voice. "I know all about your love for Barney."

"_I hate you. You hate me."_ The song began,making Zack's blood run cold. "You obviously underestimated the power of determined cadets." Cloud said before clicking the light off and leaving Zack alone with the altered, more violent version of his favorite song. _"Lets get together and kill Barney. With a great big knife and a stab from me and you. Wont you say you hate him too."_

"No!" Zack wailed in pain, trying valiantly to cover his ears.

-break-

Cloud heard Zack cry out in pain, but completely ignored him. He should feel bad, but he didn't. It was time Zack was given a dose of his own medicine. Kunsel and Bryce stood out in the hallway looks of glee on their faces. Bryce had been a little wary at first when he found out Zack was the one they were going to get revenge on, but as soon as Kunsel volunteered to help, he felt better. Cloud and Bryce saluted Kunsel before leaving. Kunsel would stay and guard the door until they came back in an hour. The cadets looked at each other, matching grins on their faces. _Being evil was so much fun._ Cloud thought to himself._ At least now Zack will learn to keep me out of his pranks. _He looked over the other cadet out of the corner of his eye, who was still grinning. _At least i made a new_ _friend._

-break-

_author's note:_

_No offense was intended to Barney lovers reading this, if any. Ive just listened to it for so long it has started to get annoying... ^.^ even if I had to look up how the actual song went…_

_anyways, this wonderful idea was given to me by Willow. Thanks a bunch and i hoped you liked it ^.^_

_Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing! it has greatly bolstered my need to write, so i think im going to update whenever i have internet, which is about 3 times a week ^.^ whenever im at school... virtual slices of pie for all! ^.^  
><em>

_Please keep up reviewing, and i hope you all have enjoyed this chapter! thanks for reading! ^.^_


	16. Chapter 16 Nooooooo

**Disclaimer:** Its time like these that im not sure whether I should be happy that I don't own these characters or not...

ch. 16- Noooooo!

In war, as everyone at ShinRa knows, there are casualties. Some are innocent civilians, some are the warriors who fought besides their comrades, and some are the Prisoners of War. Any battle hardened warrior could attest to that fact. Zack, having never been to war, had never experienced that before. He had only ever heard stories about it, mainly from Angeal.

That was soon going to change.

_If you ever want to see him again,_ the strange note Zack had found said,_ Bring 2000 gil and come to the park in Sector 5. Be there in one hour, alone, or your friend might start losing some pieces. I would hurry if I were you._

At first Zack was puzzled. Who would leave such a strange note, and on his doorstep of all places. He didn't recognize the handwriting, and was just going to pass it off as some prank that was being pulled on him.

Until he remembered.

Remembered his little spiky haired friend.

The same friend, in fact, that he hadn't seen for a couple days now.

The blood ran cold in his veins. This mysterious stranger couldn't possibly have his harmless little friend.

Right?

-break-

"Do you think he'll come?" The silver haired man asked his companion.

The auburn haired man nodded. "Of course Sephiroth," he replied, "you've seen how attached to the chocobo he is." He shook the item for emphasis. "He would do anything to get it back." His smirk scared the silver haired general a bit, not that he would admit it.

"If you say so, Genesis." Sephiroth replied, unconvinced.

The little cadet in their midst scoffed. "You are so childish."

Genesis just glared at him for a moment, before opening his PHS and dialing the familiar number.

_Hello?_

"Hey Angeal. Is it working?"

_Like a charm._ The voice over the phone said, barely hiding the amusement in his voice.

Genesis grinned. "Good. Now make sure he doesn't bring anyone along."

_No worries,_ Angeal said, _He's already left. If I didn't already know, I wouldn't have even found out. He said something about visiting a girl in the slums before taking off._

Genesis hummed. "Perfect. Thanks Angeal, I'll talk to you later."

_Good bye._ The line clicked off and Genesis's grin grew in size.

The blond cadet rolled his eyes. He knew Genesis was dramatic, but this was getting ridiculous. _I mean kidnapping?_ He thought to himself with a snort._ How ridiculous is that._

"Something funny, Cloud?" The man in question asked, bending closer to the young cadet.

"Nope," Cloud replied. "Just thinking."

Genesis looked unconvinced, but let it drop. "Fine, it's time to move to the drop off point anyways. Seph, lead the way." With that the two SOLDIERS walked off deeper into the slums, a little blond cadet trailing behind them.

-break-

Zack paced in circles in the middle of the train graveyard. When he had gotten to the park in the slums, he had found another note. He pulled it out of his pocket and reread it, just to make sure he was in the right place.

_Congratulations. You have passed the test. Bring the gil and come to the center of the train graveyard. There will be a red car, with only half a door. Wait there._

After reading the note, he had rushed to the graveyard. The train car was easy enough to find, being the only one of that color in the area. But, that was almost an hour ago, and he was starting to worry. _The first note said to come in the next hour, or else he would be hurt._ Zack stopped midstep at the thought. _Maybe he was at the wrong place?_

Zack looked around frantically. This was the only red car in the whole place, he was sure of it. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling of dread that came over him. Zack was about to hop on top of the car to get a better look of the area, when he heard footsteps to his left. He whipped his head around and was met with a sight.

"Cloud?" he asked confused. "What are you doing here?" The blond had his hands behind his back and was walking towards him looking annoyed. He didn't say anything, just walked up to Zack and stood there. "Cloud?" he asked.

The blond shook his head defiantly. A rock hit Cloud in the shoulder. Zack didn't see where it came from, being occupied with the blond in front of him. "I am here to offer my deepest condolences, Zack." Cloud finally said, the annoyed look on his face coming back.

Zack cocked his head to the side, baffled. "Huh?" he asked, "Why would you say that?"

Cloud shook his head defiantly again, and another rock came from over Zack's shoulder and hit him. This time in the forehead. He looked murderous at something behind Zack for a moment before sighing and bringing his hands out from behind his back. "It appears you took too long."

Zack was shocked. Speechless, in fact. He stared at the item in Cloud's hands before falling to his knees. "Noooooooooo!" He yelled out into the sky. "Why?" he whimpered to himself, taking the head into his hands. He rubbed a thumb over the plush yellow feathers of his stuffed chocobo, Fred. Or at least what was left of him. He looked up at Cloud. "Why? Why would you do something so, so vile?" he sniffled. "I thought you were my friend."

Cloud took a step back and held his hands up. "Wasn't me. I just got caught as the message boy."

Zack looked at Cloud confused. Before he could say anything, something hit him in the back. He turned around and caught sight of the rest of Fred's body. He delicately picked up the body, and cradled Fred's pieces to his chest. He looked to see who had thrown the body at him, and caught sight of a laughing Genesis and an amused looking

Sephiroth. "That's what you get!" Genesis managed between fits of laughing. "Maybe next time you will think twice before pulling pranks on us!" Sephiroth nodded his head in agreement.

Zack stared at his so-called friends. Sure, he liked to pull pranks, but he never did something so downright dirty as what they did. He looked down sadly at the remains of his friend, before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Zack looked over, with tears in his eyes, to see Cloud looking down at him in sympathy. "I can fix it for you, if you'd like" he said, gesturing to the stuffed chocobo.

"Really?" Zack asked, looking hopefully at the cadet. Cloud smiled and nodded his head. Zack crowed in delight and tackled his friend in a hug. "Thank you so much!" he said excitedly, hugging tighter. "I will forever be in your debt!"

"Can't- breathe- Zack!" Cloud yelled, making Zack let go.

He chuckled and ruffled Cloud's spikes before standing up. He helped Cloud up and turned to look at Genesis and Sephiroth. "You two," he said darkly, pointing at them. Genesis stopped laughing. "I'd learn to sleep with one eye open from now on." With that, he turned and started to walk out of the train graveyard, Cloud in tow.

Genesis and Sephiroth shared a look and shuddered. Zack had looked almost, evil. That couldn't possibly be a good thing.

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>sorry this is late... i wasnt feeling well yesterday and didnt get the chance to visit the library...  
>anyways, thanks a bunch for all of the reviews ive been getting! i am so happy...<br>also, this actually happened to me thursday, so i couldn't resist writing it ^.^ i will get back to writing suggestions though!  
>thanks for reading and please review!<em>


	17. Chapter 17 This can't be good

**Disclaimer:** I would say i owned these characters, but then i would have to take responsibility for Zack's weirdness... and i would rather not ^.^

Ch. 17- This can't be good...

It is common knowledge at ShinRa that Zack is very hyper. In fact, many see him as the "Sun that shines at ShinRa." No one could deny it, since they all know it's true. Zack's hyperness wasn't always a good thing. However, for the most part, no one minded it.

So, when people were walking down the hall and saw a depressed Zack sitting in a corner, they knew something was horribly wrong.

"Sir, are you alright?" The timid secretary asked. She had been on her way to copy some informational packets when she spotted the young SOLDIER sitting in a corner. He had looked so down; she couldn't help but walk up to him.

Zack just continued to stare morosely at his feet. "I'm fine." He mumbled quietly.

The secretary wasn't convinced. "Are you sure? You look so sad. Do you need anything?" she prodded, determined to make him feel better. Zack glanced up at her for a moment, tears in his eyes, before nodding and going back to look at his feet. "All right then," she said, unsure what to do. She stood from her kneeling position and continued on her way. If the young man was still there when she left for the day, she would have to invite him over and force some happiness in him.

-break-

"Genesis, Sephiroth, have you guys by any chance seen Zack? He didn't show up for training today, and that's unlike him," Angeal asked his friends. They didn't have to much work to do, so they had all decided to have lunch together.

"Don't know. Don't care." Genesis said in a sing song voice. "If you asked me, I'm almost glad i haven't seen him. No Zack means no annoying pranks i have to deal with." Sephiroth nodded his head in agreement.

Angeal stared in horror at his friends. "That's not nice Genesis. I know Zack is annoying, but he is SOLDIER and us SOLDIERS have to stick together," he chastised his childhood friend. "And you," he turned his disapproving gaze to Sephiroth, "I am ashamed of you. Since when do you act so callous about someone? I expected as much from Genesis, but not from you."

"Hey!" Genesis protested, but Angeal waved it away. Sephiroth just hung his head in shame, his silent apology hanging in the air.

"Now, are you guys going to help me find Zack, or are you going to sit there." Angeal asked. When no one moved, he sighed and stood up, dumping his tray in the trash as he left the cafeteria. They might not want to help find Zack, but that didn't mean Angeal wasn't going to try.

-break-

"Yo, why the long face?" Reno asked, nudging Zack's arm. The Turk had been roaming ShinRa avoiding Tseng (and his mountain of paperwork) when he came across Zack. When Zack refused to acknowledge him, he went and planted himself next to the ravenette, trying to get Zack to talk to him. So far, it wasn't working. Zack would just grunt when Reno asked him a question and look down at his shoes.

"Dude," Reno asked again tilting his head so he could look at Zack's face. "Did someone die or something? I haven't seen you this depressed since you found out your cat died yo." Zack turned his head and avoided Reno's questioning gaze, not saying anything. Reno sat there for almost an hour, trying everything he could to get Zack to talk to him. Reno told jokes, told Zack about a hot girl he found in the slums, even started talking about his newest plan to prank Tseng. All to no avail. Zack just continued to look down at his feet depressed. Eventually

Reno got up and left, if only because he heard Tseng walking down the hall around the corner. Reno knew something was up with Zack, he just couldn't figure out what.

-break-

"S- Sir?" the cadet asked, looking down at the SOLDIER Second Class. "Are you alright?" The cadet had seen Zack around before. In fact, he had been trying to find an excuse to talk to the man. Now was his perfect chance. He sat down carefully next to Zack, blond spikes swaying slightly. "Is something wrong?" Zack said nothing. The cadet tilted his head slightly, to get a better look at the SOLDIER'S face. Usually, a huge grin could be found on the normally happy man, but today the smile was gone. A grimace in its place instead.

That worried the cadet slightly, but what made him more worried were the sheen of tears he saw in the man's eyes. "I'm Cloud by the way," the cadet said, leaning his head back against the wall. He didn't like seeing Zack sad. It was almost unnatural. However, he didn't really know what to do. He wasn't very used to interacting with other people, and Zack hadn't said anything. So, instead, Cloud just sat there. He might not know what to say, but he knew that when he was feeling down in the dumps, just sitting around his mom helped him feel better.

Maybe the same could be said for the SOLDIER.

So he sat there for the next 4 hours. Not moving. Not saying a word. Just sitting there, offering solace with nothing more than his presence. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. However, Cloud was glad when Zack finally stood up from his position on the floor.

Zack looked over at the blond cadet who had sat next to him. Of all the things he expected to happen during his "experiment", a lowly cadet coming and bravely sitting next to him for a couple of hours wasn't it. "Thanks," he said, smiling his trademark grin. He turned and started walking down the hallway towards the elevators, when he was struck with an idea. "Oh, Cloud." He said stopping and turning towards the cadet, who was still sitting on the floor. "Would you like to hang out sometime?" What could he say, anyone who offered solace to a complete stranger was someone Zack wanted to hang around. The cadet just stared at him, before nodding his head shyly. "Great!" Zack said, all traces of his "depression" gone. "I'll see you tomorrow then!" he waved and continued walking down the hall.

Cloud just watched him walk away. He shook his head and smiled, amazed. Zack had the weirdest mood swings. One minute he was depressed, the next happy as usual. It was kind of weird. But Cloud didn't mind the least bit. He was going to be hanging out with Zack. Maybe they would become friends. That's all that he wanted. He stood up and made his way towards the cadet's barracks, whistling the entire way. He was happy now, he had made a (possible) new friend, and wouldn't be alone anymore.

-break-

Genesis was going to kill something. And soon. "Genesis," a voice whispered quietly. Genesis whipped his head around, trying to pinpoint the source of the voice. The voice had been whispering his name for the last hour and a half, and every time he got close to finding the source of it, it would move. It was infuriating. He had called Sephiroth, hoping the General could find the voice with his better hearing. So far, they weren't having any luck.

"Why didn't you come for me?" the voice whispered again from what sounded like his living room. They went running, hoping to catch the speaker before he disappeared.

They entered the room and found it infuriatingly abandoned, just as it should be. "Genesis. Sephiroth. Why?" the voice asked again, this time from the kitchen. Genesis twitched. His patience was wearing extremely thin. Why did some voice have to haunt him of all people? And at 3 in the morning no less. "Genesis..." the voice whispered, this time from the hallway connecting the living room to the front door.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" Genesis roared, patience completely gone. He wasn't in the mood to be dealing with annoying voices.

"Why didn't you come for me? Why didn't you care?" the voice whispered from the living room, unperturbed by his yelling.

Genesis went to yell again, when he noticed Sephiroth wave at him. He looked over at the silver haired man, who put a finger to his lips and pointed to the vent. Sephiroth made his way over to the vent and pulled a small flashlight from his pocket. Before he could turn it on, however, a loud shriek filled the room, making both men jump. Sephiroth fumbled with the flashlight, but managed not to drop it. He flicked it on, and pointed it at the vent, revealing a pair of purplish-green eyes.

Genesis stared at the somewhat familiar eyes, then jumped to the side as the vent came flying off the wall towards him. Something small was thrown into the room, hitting Sephiroth square in the chest, and then a lot of banging was heard in the vent as whomever it was made their escape.

Both men were about to pursue their visitor, when they were stopped by the foulest odor. So foul, in fact, that it sent them to their knees. Their eyes were tearing up from the noxious mixture, and they covered their noses in hopes of avoiding the rancid smell. Any thought of killing the nuisance in the vents was gone, the need to escape smell taking its place. Genesis and Sephiroth stumbled their way down the hall to the door, which they promptly threw open. In their hurry to escape, they tripped over Angeal, who had heard the racket and gone to investigate.

The three SOLDIERS laid in a pile in the middle of the hallway, the rancid odor still clinging to their clothes and hair.

Who knew how long they laid there. It could have been a minute, or an hour. However, when Zack walked up, the smell was still pretty bad, so it couldn't have been long. "Phew," Zack said, plugging his nose and waving the air in front of his face. "Who set off the stink bomb?" A seemingly innocent question. However, the look on Zack's face was not. The three SOLDIER First Classes stared up at the evil look on Zack's face. He smirked. "Maybe next time you should come looking." With that, Zack turned on his heel and walked away, leaving them with confused looks on their faces.

_That was fun._ Zack thought as he walked down the hall towards his room. _Who would have thought that acting depressed for the day would be entertaining._ He smiled, it had been entertaining. And surprisingly informative. It showed him just who cared enough to try to cheer up someone who looked sad. He had even made a new friend out of it. He smiled again as he thought of the blond cadet. The cadet didn't know him, and yet he had sat therefor hours, just offering his companionship. It was nice to know that not everyone at ShinRa only cared about themselves.

_Besides,_ Zack thought, an evil grin forming on his face._ Getting back at those who didn't care was fun too._

-break-

_author's note:_

_and so Zack pretends to be depressed... just to see who cared about him...damn, i should've thought of doing that ^.^ definitely would've been an interesting experience..._

_The wonderful idea for this chapter was given to me by Poke Girl 3000... thanks a bunch for the idea! ^.^_

_anyways, i am so happy to see all the love that this story is getting! it makes my heart swell with joy ^.^_

_so, read, review (please ^.^) and i hoped you enjoyed this chapter!_


	18. Chapter 18 The Incident

**Disclaimer:** ummmm isn't it obvious by now that i don't own?

Before i begin, i give you guys, my readers, my sincerest apologies for not updating for a week. I was having a seriously hard time trying to write... or do anything for that matter... however, i found my muse again and i am back to updating ^.^

hope you all enjoy and forgive my absence *pleading look*

ch. 18- The Incident

Zack was known for many things. Not all of them good, but that's besides the point. For now, we'll just focus on the good things. Now, anyone with eyes could see the skill he had with a blade. From the time he was a cadet, all the way up to when Angeal adopted him as an apprentice, and even beyond. Give Zack a blade, and he could dazzle even the toughest crowd.

Now, his skills with materia weren't as widespread, since he preferred to use his sword. However, when Zack felt up to it, he could do reasonably well with materia. Better than his fellow Second Class SOLDIERS, that's for sure. But the best thing Zack could do with materia was make new ones. Nobody managed to fuse as many materia and have them come out good as Zack did.

It was this skill that ultimately lead to the downfall of everyone close to Zack. You see because when Zack fused a new materia, he immediately wanted to try it out. After a while, everyone with a brain cell made themselves scarce when Zack came running around with an odd materia. They weren't going to become Zack's "test subjects," since most of them valued their lives. Smart moves on their part.

However, it was because everyone avoided him that The Incident occurred. Yes, it deserved capital letters, even when spoken aloud. The Incident was a bleak time in ShinRa, filled with fear and anger. It was a time of great sorrow, and nobody wanted a repeat. Many still shuddered when it was brought up in conversation. It was so bad, in fact, that when Zack mysteriously disappeared, nobody questioned his absence. Not even when he showed up over a week later looking worse for wear. Nope, they valued their lives too much. For, if one learned anything from their time at ShinRa, it was to not get between the three Firsts and their prey.

Even if said prey was a very terrified looking Zack Fair.

One bright sunny morning (well as bright as Midgar could get with all the pollution) found Zack strolling around the halls, whistling a merry tune. This was a normal occurrence, since Zack was probably the happiest morning person around. If one cared to look closer, they would have noticed the evil grin underlying his happy visage. However, no one did, and thus Zack continued his way out of the ShinRa building, onto a train, and making his way into the slums.

It wasn't any more than 20 minutes later when people started to question his happiness.

A high pitched scream tore through the air. Janitors paused in the hallway and secretaries looked curiously out into the hall. It wasn't every day that someone heard a woman's cry of fear after all. Not that they would do anything to help the poor woman, but it would be good gossip later. Oh, how true that statement was.

The scream had originated from the 40th floor. A floor dedicated to the three First classes, and a couple of the promising Seconds. It came from the third door on the left. Inside showed a spacious apartment, filled to the brim with books. Down the hall, a young woman stared in the mirror in horror. She had beautiful blue-green eyes and long, gorgeous looking auburn hair.

"Wh- What the hell!" the woman sputtered to her reflection in the mirror. She poked her face, as if it had changed somehow in the middle of the night. She examined herself in the mirror again, noting the fact that there were now lumps of flesh on her chest. She grabbed said lumps, to make sure they really were there, before looking back at the mirror in shock. "I have boobs. For Gaia's sake! Boobs!"

She turned away from the mirror and put a robe on over her pajamas. She then stalked down the hall towards the front door. Upon reaching said door she threw it open, not caring when it rebounded of the wall, and stalked down the hall to another door. Which she began pounding on. "Angeal!" she yelled as loud as she could manage." Angeal! Open the door and come take a look at what happened to me!" The woman continued pounding, uncaring that it was a little after 6 in the morning.

The door opened to reveal a very annoyed looking girl with long, black hair. "For Minerva's sake Genesis! I was sleeping! What's so darn important that you had to come and wake me up!" The woman roared, obviously pissed off.

Genesis was speechless, and not to mention a little relieved. At least someone else was having the same problem he was. "Have you seen what happened to me?" he (she?) gestured toward him(her?)self. "I'm a girl!"

"Yes, that much is apparent," Angeal answered, staring somewhat confused at his (her?) visitor.

Genesis pointed dramatically at his childhood friend "It happened to you too! What in the Goddess's name happened to us?"

Angeal looked down and noticed his new, womanly figure. He then slowly looked up at Genesis, an unknown emotion in his eyes. "I have a feeling, but i won't tell you just yet. I wonder who else has been affected. Come on," he said, putting his robe on around him (her?) self and stepping out into the hallway. She locked the door behind her and gestured for Genesis to follow as they made their way farther down the hall.

Angeal stopped in front of a grand door and knocked courteously. A moment later the door opened to reveal a sleepy eyed Sephiroth. Sephiroth was somewhat startled to see two women in front of his door, but managed to stay polite. "Yes? What is it I can do for you ladies?" Gaia save him now.

-break-

When Sephiroth heard knocking on his door, he definitely wasn't expecting to find two beautiful young ladies standing in front of his door. An annoyed Genesis, yes. One bouncy puppy also known as Zack Fair, probably.

Two beautiful young ladies in their pajamas? No.

"What can I do for you ladies?" he asked, knowing that being a polite gentleman to a woman was as important as being a good General to his SOLDIERS.

"Why?" the auburn one said in pain as she collapsed to her knees. "Why do you get to stay the same and we have to turn into girls?" She wailed to herself. Sephiroth just looked up at her black haired companion questioningly.

"Hello Sephiroth," the woman said politely. "It seems as if we have some explaining to do. May we come in?"

Sephiroth was still confused, but stepped to the side and gestured towards his living room. "Of course. Come on in." He watched in confusion as the black haired girl grabbed her companion and pull her to her feet, before walking inside. Sephiroth shut the door behind the two and watched as they sat down on his couch. "Is there anything i can get you?" he asked gesturing towards the kitchen.

The black haired girl shook her head and smiled. "No thank you Sephiroth." She gestured towards the other chair in the room. "Sit, please." She smiled at him again. Sephiroth gave her a confused look but sat down. He was starting to like this mysterious woman, she was nice and wasn't afraid of him. It was a relief to the other woman he had been subjected to in his life.

"Let me get to the point." She began, looking determined. "It seems as if Zack has been experimenting with materia again." _Materia? Zack? How does this woman know about Zack?_ Sephiroth thought to himself. While Zack was someone who knew a lot of people, very few knew of his experiments with fusing materia.

"How do you-" Sephiroth began to ask, before he was interrupted by the auburn haired woman who had, up to that point, been quiet.

"Zack did this to me! Oh, he is so dead. Let me go Angeal! When I find him I'm gonna-" She looked towards the door, looking ready to bolt.

"Oh calm down, Genesis." The black haired woman said, putting a hand on her companion's arm. "Just relax. First, we give Sephiroth the run down. Then we find the puppy and murder him. Deal?" Sephiroth was completely confused now. Why this girl was calling her friend Genesis, when Genesis was most obviously male, was beyond him and starting to make his head hurt.

The black haired woman looked back at Sephiroth, noticing his somewhat pained expression. She sighed. "Sephiroth," she said, her tone somewhat familiar. "If Genesis's little rant hasn't explained the situation to you, then i shall." She took a deep breath to steady herself. "It seems as if Zack has managed to fuse a gender-swapping materia and used it on Genesis and myself when we were sleeping."

Sephiroth watched the auburn haired girl huff indignantly and cross her arms, then switched his gaze to her companion, who was watching him for his reaction. The look was familiar, Sephiroth realized with a start. It was a look that... he blanched. "Angeal?" he asked the black haired girl in front of him. She smiled and nodded. "Why are you female?" _And was i starting to like her? _He asked himself, not sure how to react to that thought.

Angeal chuckled, amused. "Zack. Gender-swapping materia. Remember?" Sephiroth nodded his head, but looked at a loss for words. "I'm just telling you this so that you wouldn't wonder why Genesis, Zack, or myself didn't show up for duty today."

Sephiroth nodded, then shook his head to clear it. "Yes, thank you for telling me. You may go find Zack and figure out a way to change yourselves back," he dismissed in General mode.

Angeal wasn't surprised by Sephiroth's bluntness. It was how he dealt with confusing situations. He nodded and dragged Genesis out of the room. Sephiroth watched them leave, unsure about what to make about the whole situation.

-break-

Zack stared in horror at the two women who had managed to hog tie him and throw him in a van. They were currently in the outskirts of Midgar, a good hour drive from anyone who could help him. When they had walked up to him and asked if he could help move a heavy piece of furniture from their van, he didn't think they were going to attempt to kidnap him. Much less succeed. He caught sight of the auburn haired woman, and the evil smirk that was on her face. It was right about now that he was starting to curse his friendly and helpful nature.

The auburn haired woman stepped forward, her hand suddenly engulfed in flames. Yep, now was definitely the time to be fearful.

-break-

Angeal marveled at how easy it had been to track Zack down. After getting Genesis to calm down after his hissy fit at headquarters, they had taken the train to the slums. A scared cadet on guard duty told them that he had seen Zack head that way almost an hour previously. He didn't think the cadet was lying, since a pissed Genesis, in any form, male or female, was something to be wary of.

After making it to the slums, they found a shop that sold cheap, but decent quality clothes and bought something that would help them blend in. After that, it was almost as if every single guy was eager to help them find who they were looking for. It had taken many glares from Genesis and the mention of their SOLDIER boyfriend to prevent them from following.

Once they had found Zack, luring him to the car had been easy, especially since Angeal knew all about his helpful nature. It was insanely easy to secure Zack and prevent him from escaping, and they took a quick trip out to the wastelands, where no one would interrupt them. Angeal really was going to have to teach Zack about being more aware of his surroundings and the people in them.

For now, he was going to figure out a way to change his gender back to what it was supposed to be. What happened after that? Well, that was entirely up to Genesis and his mood. Angeal let a rare evil smirk form on his face. Zack should really learn to not torment them. It was going to be the death of him one day.

* * *

><p><em>Authors note:<em>

_and so Zack does something stupid, and Genesis wants revenge. Not surprising in the least bit ^.^_

_anyways this chapter is for both LoreilDarksky00 and the fading dream! You both had such similarly wonderful ideas, so i combined them ^.^ hope you enjoyed!_

_Thanks a lot to those who reviewed last chapter, and who will continue to (hopefully) review! i do love reviews_

_^.^ So, read on, hope you enjoyed my madness and i hope to see reviews from you all! ^.^_


	19. Chapter 19 Not stupid

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of this…. Although, its time like these when im not sure I want to….. ^.^

Ch. 19- Not stupid….

Zack winced as he cleaned the many scratches covering his body. Genesis and Angeal were evil. Just plain evil. _I kinda deserved it though,_ Zack thought to himself with a grin. Seeing Angeal and Genesis as girls was well worth the pain he was in now. He smirked at his reflection in the mirror. He had made sure to "lose" the material, making it impossible for them to change back until the effects wore off. And who knew how long that could take.

The smirk on his face grew slightly evil as he thought of all the things he could get away with until they changed back. It seemed as if that, as girls, they didn't have their mako enhancements; which only made it easier for Zack to pull The Prank.

The same prank, in fact, that he had been planning for the last year. Until now, only Angeal and his punishments were keeping him at bay. Not anymore. Gaia save them all.

-break-

Zack was not stupid. Sure, he did stupid things, but that didn't make him stupid. No, anyone who knew Zack well enough would know that he was quite intelligent. They weren't fooled by his goofy nature.

It seemed, however, that Sephiroth still had to learn that lesson. You would think that after The Incident (in which Genesis and Angeal were turned into girls) Sephiroth would at least get an inkling of Zack's intelligence. Such was not the case. So the silver General was caught completely unawares when Zack revealed just how intelligent he could be.

It all started on a reasonably normal morning. Well normal enough for ShinRa. Sephiroth had woken up to an alarm. Not his alarm clock, nope the emergency alarm ShinRa had in place for when there were monsters in the building. Sephiroth then spent the next 3 hours rounding up all the chocobos that had escaped from the stables. Not to mention the 50 or so wild chocobos as well. Where someone managed to find 50 wild chocobos in Midgar was beyond him. However, he had been a little preoccupied at the time to give it any serious thought.

From there the day was relatively quiet. Angeal and Genesis had locked themselves in their offices to keep away the other SOLDIERS who wanted to "get to know the new hot secretaries" and Zack had been locked in his room until they turned back. Needless to say, Sephiroth was enjoying the quiet. Too bad it wouldn't last for much longer.

For when Sephiroth decided to get out of his office and train for a little bit, something was wrong.

Something was missing.

Masamune couldn't be found anywhere.

Sephiroth had looked everywhere. Hell, he had even looked on the roof for his precious blade, even though he hasn't been up there in weeks. He was starting to panic. His Masamune, his precious baby, was missing and he couldn't find her anywhere. (yes, he made his blade female.)

Angeal and Genesis weren't any help, since they hadn't seen his precious blade and couldn't help him look for it without getting caught in a mob. So, Sephiroth was on his own. He had scoured ShinRa for hours, all to no avail.

Sad, he returned to his office, hoping to find a clue. It was the last place he had remembered seeing the blade, and he hoped to find something there. Sephiroth quickly, but meticulously, searched his office. He was about to give up hope, when a rustling caught his attention. He looked up to see a piece of paper stuck to the ceiling, a paper clip keeping it in place. He reached up and grabbed the note, quickly reading it over.

_The fates are cruel.  
>There are no dreams, no hope remains.<br>The blade has left the heart of the God._

It was worded a little strangely, but he would recognize those lines anywhere. LOVELESS. Sephiroth left his office and stalked down the hall. He stopped on a door and knocked on the locked door. After a moment, the door opened a crack to reveal a blue green eye staring out at him.

"Oh Sephiroth, It's you." The door opened more, to reveal Genesis, still as a girl, dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. "I thought it was that damn Second Class again. Boy won't leave me alone." He growled in frustration, before gesturing inside. "Come in. So," he asked shutting the door and locking it. "What brings you her-"

Whatever she was going to say was lost when Sephiroth grabbed her around the shoulders and slammed her against the wall. "Where. Is. It?" he said in a deadly serious tone.

"Where's what?" Genesis squeaked, a little frightened at the look in Sephiroth's eyes.

Sephiroth growled. "You know what. Where. Is. Masamune?"

The fear in the auburn's haired SOLDIER'S eyes left and was replaced with annoyance. "I don't know where your stupid blade is. I told you that."

"Then how do you explain this?" Sephiroth asked, dropping Genesis to the floor and pushing the scrap of paper into her face.

Genesis took the paper and scanned it quickly, before making a noise of disgust and handing the paper back over. "Someone horrendously quoting LOVELESS and messing up the words." She turned away from the General, and went and sat behind her desk.

Sephiroth was confused. If Genesis didn't write it, then who did? "You didn't write this?" he questioned, slightly confused.

Genesis scoffed, "I would never ruin the beauty that is LOVELESS like that." She rubbed her arm, a bruise forming where Sephiroth was holding her. "Now if you don't need anything else, leave."

Sephiroth stood there, confused. He didn't know anyone else who knew LOVELESS well enough to quote it. Sephiroth deflated, anger lost. "Sorry about that," he said quietly before turning and making his way out of Genesis's office.

"Yeah, well," he heard Genesis call out behind him. "Be prepared for when I turn back to my normal self and get payback on you for this!"

Sephiroth shrugged Genesis's warning away. Nothing mattered right now. He couldn't find his precious baby. He walked back to his office, shutting the door behind him. He cast a longing look at Masamune's empty place on the wall, before sitting in his chair.

He laid his head on his desk, content to just sit there all night. He wasn't leaving until Masamune was found. If he stayed there forever, so be it.

-break—

Zack chuckled evilly as the item he had put on ebay sold for 5000 gil. He looked over at said item and smiled. He knew he would get a lot, but he didn't think he would get that much. I mean 5000 gil? The new owner was either really rich, or really obsessed. Zack was betting on obsessed, since lots of gil was hard to come by unless you were part of ShinRa's higher ups.

Zack looked over at Masamune leaning up against his wall. He watched it shimmer slightly in the dim light from the computer monitor. It was a magnificent blade, and was wary to part with it.

"Well silverxgold4eva," he said quietly looking back at the computer, "Lets get your new blade properly packaged, shall we?" He smiled at went to find something to cover the Masamune with. Luckily, the person who bought it worked for ShinRa. Zack was supposed to meet them behind the storage shed on the quiet part of the track. At least he didn't have to go far.

He smirked at himself. He felt almost bad for handing the item over, since Sephiroth was most likely going to kill whomever had it when he found the blade. He shrugged, he might have felt bad, but at least he wasn't going to experience it. He rubbed the cuts on his arm slightly. He had had enough of being attacked recently.

Zack grabbed the newly wrapped Masamune and walked quickly out of his apartment. It was reasonably late in the day, so there weren't many people in the hallway. _All the better,_ he thought to himself as he walked quickly down the hall. Get there, make the switch, and escape. That was his plan, then he was going to get some ice cream. He smiled, he couldn't wait.

-break—

Cloud smiled when the word SOLD in red popped up on his computer screen. When he saw that someone was selling what was supposedly "Sephiroth's actual Masamune" he was a little unconvinced. Eventually though, he had started bidding on it. And kept bidding. He was beyond happy when he saw that he had gotten it. Sure it cost a large sum, and he wasn't going to be able to go home and see his mom this Christmas, but it was worth it.

Cloud sat there, smiling at the computer in the cadet lounge. It was a long shot, but he hoped that by "finding" and returning the General's lost Masamune he would be able to make an impression on his hero. Cloud blushed slightly. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he had a crush on the man, and had wanted to get near him for a long time now.

This was his perfect chance. He looked at Honour's_Puppy15 profile for a moment longer before logging off and making his way out of the lounge. He needed to get the gil, and make it out to the track in the next hour or so before curfew. He smiled, a little giddy. Maybe he would find a friend in Honour's_Puppy15, whoever he was. He seemed really friendly when they were chatting online, if a bit hyper.

Cloud shook his head; it didn't matter. So long as he was able to get his prize and return it to the General, he was happy.

-break—

Sephiroth didn't know how long he sat there. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour. All he knows is that when he heard a quiet knock on his door, he wasn't expecting to find a blond cadet. Angeal, yeah. Genesis, maybe. Some random cadet, not at all.

"S- Sir?" the blond cadet asked timidly. Sephiroth, who had looked up to see who his visitor was, dropped his head back on his desk. "Hello?" the cadet asked after a minute touching his shoulder slightly.

"Go away cadet. I am not in the mood right now." Sephiroth said, a little harshly. He didn't care. His masamune was missing, and—

"S- Sir? I found this out by the track and I thought it might be yours?" the cadet said, even more timid than before. Sephiroth looked up to see the cadet holding his precious masamune.

Sephiroth didn't know how, but one second he was sitting behind his desk, the next cradling his Masamune in his arms. "Where have you been?" he cooed at the blade. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

Sephiroth stood there, talking to his blade for a minute before the cadet finally spoke up. "I'm going to leave now. Goodnight Sir."

Sephiroth looked up to see the cadet almost out his door. "Wait." He said, catching the cadet's attention. "Thank you, Cadet—"

"Cloud Strife, Sir." The blond replied

Sephiroth nodded, "Cadet strife. Where did you say you find it?"

The cadet, Cloud, gave a tentative smile. "By the track. I was on my way back to the barracks when I saw a guy with black spiky hair stash this behind the shed. When he left, I went to take a look and saw your blade."

Sephiroth stared at the cadet for a moment. "Why didn't you keep it? Many others in your position would have done so." Not that he wasn't grateful. It was just a strange thing to have happened. Sephiroth had a guess on who the "guy with black spiky hair" was as well. Zack was so going down.

The cadet shrugged. "It belongs to you." He said, gesturing to the blade in Sephiroth's hands. "It wouldn't be fair for me to keep it."

Sephiroth stared at the cadet for a moment longer before he smiled. Cloud was certainly as unusual as his name. Few would return something so precious to him without wanting something in return. He would have to thank the cadet in some way. Maybe buy him dinner or something.

After all, the cadet was kinda cute.

-break—

Zack stared at the bag of newspaper clippings in his hand. Silverxgold4eva had swindled him. Zack had put the Masamune in the little alcove and grabbed the bag of gil, as they had agreed to. Yet, when Zack returned home and opened the bag, all he had found was a bunch of clippings about Sephiroth.

Damn. Whoever silverxgold4eva was, he was definitely smart. Zack was going to have to track him down. At least that way he knew who the person was the next time he was swindled. A knock sounded on his door, and thoughts of revenge left his mind.

He walked over to the door and opened it, not bothering to check who it was. There, in front of his door, smiling evilly, was Sephiroth. He had masamune in his hand. Zack was so dead. "Is this who you saw cadet?" the silver haired general asked the small cadet behind him.

The cadet nodded, a slightly evil gleam in his eye. If Zack hadn't been more worried for his life, he might have been annoyed to find out that he had been played. By a cadet, no less. However, he was a bit busy at the moment, and revenge on the blond cadet would have to wait. "Hiya Seph." Zack said, aiming for nonchalance. "How's it going?"

Sephiroth just smiled that evil grin of his. Zack sighed internally before taking off down the hall towards his room. He was so dead.

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>yeah, i had no idea how this ended up like it did... ^.^_

_anyways, thanks go to loveless an the living fantasy for the idea... i hoped you enjoyed it ^.^_

_Before i go, i just wanted to give a huge thanks to everyone who is reviewing this story! It still surprises me just how many people enjoy the craziness my brain creates ^.^  
><em>

_I hoped you all enjoyed this newest chapter! Review (please?) and enjoy! ^.^  
><em>


	20. Chapter 20 Coming to you

Disclaimer: Nope, dont own... wish i did though...

_Before i begin, i would seriously like to apologize for my disappearance off the face of fanfiction._  
><em>I barely had enough time to sleep with my new schoolwork schedule, let alone write..._  
><em>However, ive learned to operate on less sleep, and thus will start updating again... thanks for (hopefully) staying with me! ^.^<em>

Ch. 20- Coming to you...

Why me? Genesis thought morosely. _Of all the things to happen to me, why this? What Goddess did i possibly piss off this time._ Genesis was, well, for lack of a better description, completely and utterly screwed. His reputation as one of ShinRa's top SOLDIERS, gone. The cadets didn't even quiver in fear in his presence like they used to. He didn't know how he was going to survive.

Genesis looked down at the royal blue dress he was wearing_. Hell, i don't even have my manhood anymore!_ He sighed in defeat and sat down in the middle of the hallway, not caring that he was blocking the way. He had more important things on his mind. Like how the hell to change back to his wonderfully masculine self.

You see, it had been almost 3 weeks since The Incident. That bleak day when Zack decided to turn Angeal and himself into girls. Angeal, at least, returned back to his former self 2 days later. The fact that his childhood friend was back to normal wasn't helping the redhead any though. In fact, it was only making him more pissed. _Stupid puppy and his utter lack of intelligence_. Genesis clenched his girly fists at the thought. It was all Zack's fault for his current mood, Genesis was sure. Had the puppy not disappeared on a mission a week ago, Genesis wouldn't have been in this situation.

Genesis's fists shook in anger, and he punched the floor he was sitting on. It hurt like hell, but he didn't care. He was pissed, and needed to blow off some steam. Since he couldn't spar with Sephiroth like he usually did when he was really mad, punching inanimate objects would have to suffice.

"Um, e-excuse me, miss? A- are you alright? That looked like it hurt." A quiet voice said to Genesis's left. The voice seemed familiar to him from somewhere, but he couldn't quite place it. Genesis looked over to see none other than Angeal. Standing there. Smirking down at him. The evil and annoying man.

"Oh, go away Angeal. Unless you have delivered your student on a silver platter to me, then go away. I don't have the patience to deal with you mocking me right now." Genesis glared up at his friend and his obvious... maleness. Stupid Angeal and his stupid ability to change back to male while I'm stuck as a stupid girl. He thought, getting more and more annoyed by the minute.

"Oh, cheer up Genesis. You look good like a girl, as I'm sure many of the other SOLDIERS are grateful for." Angeal gestured towards the group of third classes who suddenly became interested in the floor by their feet.

Genesis just glared at them. "Well that's easy for you to say. You, at least, are back to your normal self and not stuck in this torturous form. I swear Angeal, the second i see your puppy I'm gonna-"

"Hiya Angeal!" An overly obnoxious voice interrupted from down the hall. _Speak of the devil and he shall come,_ Genesis thought with an internal smirk as the puppy continued, "You would never guess what happened on my mission! It started off as kinda boring but then a King Behemoth had showed up and made everything soooo much more interesting and- Hey, who are you cutie?" Zack had been making his way towards his mentor when he noticed the girl sitting on the floor. _She is kinda cute_, he thought to himself. _In a no nonsense, I'll kick your butt if you do anything stupid kind of way. And that red hair with_ _blue eyes! Such an odd combination. I wonder who she is_. Zack may have been dating Aerith, but he always jumped on the opportunity to make a new friend. Even if that person happened to be a girl.

The woman didn't say anything, just glared daggers at him from her spot on the floor. Zack rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "Umm, why do you look like you want to kill me?"

"Because," Angeal interrupted, cutting off what the woman was going to say, "Genna here was just telling me how she was bummed that she hasn't met my student yet." Angeal shot a look at the woman, making her snap her mouth closed and confusing Zack. "When she heard you yelling, she got annoyed. She thinks it's impolite to yell at someone from a distance."

The woman huffed, but stood up and held her hand out. "I'm Genna, with a G. And you must be Angeal's puppy." The woman smirked, shaking his hand.

Zack pouted at his mentor. "Aw Angeal! Why does everyone i meet say I'm your puppy? I'm not that much of a puppy, am I?" He tilted to his head in a confused manner, looking very much like the puppy everyone called him.

Angeal chuckled, but didn't say anything. "So Zack," the redhead spoke up in her delicate voice. "Would you like to catch a coffee with me? I haven't been to Midgar in so long and i was going to get a tour, but Angeal is just absolutely piled with paperwork." She lowered her head slightly, so she was looking up at him through her eyelashes. "Please?" she said, almost silently.

Zack was torn. He was dating Aerith, and didn't want to give Genna the wrong impression. But if he only went to show her around and Aerith saw them, he didn't want Aerith to think he was cheating on her. Afterall, Zack was not a womanizer. That was just uncool. He was in a serious pickle. Luckily, Angeal came to his rescue.

"Oh, Genna. You know my puppy is already spoken for. What are you trying to do? hmm?" Angeal asked

playfully.

Genna laughed and playfully smacked Angeal's shoulder. "Oh you. I was just asking since he's the student of my best friend. It's not like i want to date him."

The relief Zack felt was almost palpable. He smiled, "Sure Genna! I would have no problem giving you a tour. Just let me write my report real fast and I'll pick meet you in 'Geal's office in say an hour?"

Genna nodded, "Sounds good."

"Great!" Zack replied enthusiastically, before bouncing down the hall towards the elevators.

As soon as Zack disappeared, the friendly look on Genesis's face melted into a smirk of pure evil. "You are going to do something positively evil to him, aren't you?" Angeal asked his friend, a knowing look on his face.

"Why Angeal," Genesis said in an overly innocent voice, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she smirked at him. "Whatever do you mean? I would do nothing of the sort."

Angeal gave Genesis a knowing look. "Mhmm sure. Just don't injure him too bad, he still needs to be able to attend training tomorrow." Genesis didn't say anything, just smirked evilly. Angeal sighed and walked away. It wasn't as if he could really stop Genesis. Maybe this time Zack would learn to quit picking on Genesis.

Angeal snorted as he entered the elevator and pressed the button for his floor_. Zack, learn something?_ _Yeah, right._

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>So, im planning on making this a 2 chapter oneshot (if that makes any sense)... originally it was going to be a normal oneshot, but the words ran away from me, and thus this weirdness was formed..._

_okay, and i know my extended absense was, well, unexcusable.. even in my eyes... wouldve never thought not updating would irritate me, but it did...  
>regardless, im glad so many of you reviewed and gave me such wonderful ideas, which i completely and utterly will use ^.^<br>i am definitely going to start updating as often as possible to make up for my absence (and to get the voices in my head to shut up already) ^.^_

_so, thank you all for reading/reviewing and expect another chapter sometime tomorrow afternoon! ^.^_


	21. Chapter 21 Coming to you part 2

Disclaimer: while i am trying hard to get the proper ownership papers, at the moment i do not own.

Ch. 21- Coming to you part 2

Zack was starting to have second thoughts about this Genna person. Yes, strange as it seems, Zack Fair, the friendliest person at ShinRa was contemplating not having Genna be his friend. Now why, do you ask, would Zack contemplate such a thing? Simple; she was annoying. And rude. And possibly certifiably insane.

Everything had started out well. Zack had given his report to Lazard, then took advantage of being early and took a quick shower. It wouldn't do good to walk around Midgar with a pretty lady smelling like a dead monster. Even if they were only doing it as friends; it was just rude. Not to mention that dead monster smelled horrible.

Anyways, so he took a quick shower and bounced (not skipped, that's unmanly) to Angeal's office. When he arrived, everything seemed normal. Angeal was doing the montain of paperwork currently occupying his desk, while Genna was sitting on his couch reading a book. Had Zack looked closer, he would've noticed that the book, with its dark blue cover and fancy gold script, looked familiar from somewhere. Alas, our favorite puppy was too busy to notice such an insignificant detail. "Hiya Geal! Genna!" he announced joyously, a big grin plastered on his face.

"Hey," Angeal said, not taking his attention from the paperwork in front of him. Genna just looked up at him for a moment, smiled, and turned back to her book. Zack wasn't put out in any way by their lack of enthusiasm. He knew that not everyone was as happy-go-lucky as he was.

"So," he said, turning towards Genna, "Are you ready?" Genna shut her book and looked up, nodding her head and smiling. Zack smiled in return. Angeal watched the two from underneath his eyelashes. He pitied his puppy. Had Zack known Genesis better, he would have recognized the evil smirk for what it was. Since that wasn't the case, Zack remained unaware of the evil coming his way. However, just because Angeal pitied his student, that didn't mean he was going to clue the young man in to Genesis's actions. While Angeal didn't usually like Genesis's teaching methods, they were known to be useful. Maybe his puppy would actually learn to stop playing pranks on others, and what better teacher than his number one prank victim. So Angeal just sighed quietly and went back to his paperwork. Genesis would keep Zack occupied, and maybe he could finally catch up on his paperwork.

-break-

Genesis was having a lot of fun. Currently, they were walking down Loveless Avenue. Zack, having never been that way before, eagerly agreed when Genesis asked if they could walk down there. Genesis, of course, had been there many times, so it was nothing new to him. Since he could tell Zack had never been to that particular part of Midgar before, Genesis went into a long monologue about to history of Loveless Avenue. Especially of how it was named that because of the play that played at the theater on a regular basis.

Now, since Loveless was practically Genesis's pride and joy, he talked to Zack about it. A lot. He had practically launched into one of his epic, hour long monologues. And it was boring Zack to death, that much was for sure. "So, what do you think that stanza means Zack?" He asked, grabbing Zack's attention to him. Genesis gave him a grin, feeling like a total idiot but knowing it would get Zack to respond.

"What stanza again?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head. "I kinda started daydreaming there."

_Perfect,_ Genesis thought to himself with malicious glee. He tried to bring tears to his eyes before he replied in a quiet voice. "You were daydreaming?" he sniffled. "Am I that boring to you?" He looked down at his feet, playing the hurt maiden perfectly. He did a little internal dance of glee at the expression on Zack's face. It was absolutely priceless, the horrified way he looked. Genesis only wished he had a camera to capture the beautiful moment. _This is going to be so easy, _Genesis thought.

-break—

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ Zack internally berated himself. Not only did he managed to get distracted by something shiny when he and Genna were walking down Loveless Avenue, but he managed to make her cry. All because she thought she was boring him. After that, she had been quiet and subdued, not even bothering to start up her explanation of Loveless again.

He had told jokes, showed her weird people, even doing tricks, all to make her laugh. He would even be content with a smile, anything other than the hurt look she had while she walked. Not of it was working, and Zack was starting to feel more and more like a jerk.

Suddenly Genna, who had been walking in front of him, stopped suddenly and he ran right into her. Before he could apologize she turned, with a cruel look in her eyes. "Watch where you are walking." She said in the harshest voice he had ever heard. It reminded him a little bit of Genesis when he was pissed at a group of cadets. Her eyes even flashed in anger like his did. The resemblance was eerie.

Now, Zack should have realized that Genna wasn't who she said she was, but he was too busy looking contrite to notice. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to run into you." Genna huffed, then turned and continue to walk away from him at a much faster pace than she was earlier. Zack had to practically jog to catch up.

Five minutes later, Zack's mood had turned even darker. He was supposed to be giving her a tour of Midgar. Not making her cry or pissed off at him. He was starting to doubt his abilities, when suddenly Genna turned and bounded over to him. "Hiya Zack!" she said, giving him a big bear hug. "How are you? What are you doing here in Midgar? I thought you were in Costa del Sol on a vacation? When did you get back? Oh my gosh, did you have fun? You must tell me all about it!" She then squealed, then turned around and skipped away.

Zack was speechless. Was it just him or did Genna's mood suddenly do a 180? He shook his head to try to clear the confusion slowing down his thought process. It didn't work, only made him dizzy. Not a second later, something hard hit him in the head. One hand rubbed the back of his head where the projectile hit him, while he looked down at his feet to see what it was. To his surprise it was a rock. And not a small one either. It had to be at least the size of an apple. He turned around to see who threw the rock at him, only to see Genna with her hands behind her back, whistling as she walked in a circle. Since, no one else was within throwing distance, Zack became suspicious.

"Genna?" he asked, getting her attention.

"yeah?" She replied, a grin on her face.

Zack gave her a confused look. "Did you just throw a rock at me?"

She nodded her head up and down energetically. "Yep!" she said with joy before skipping away. Zack was befuddled. He couldn't understand this weird girl, and it made him wonder why she was friends with his mentor. Sadly for him, this was only the beginning of Genna's antics. Gaia help him.

-break—

Later that night, Genesis walked into Angeal's office, a full blown grin on his face. Angeal couldn't help but smile at the joy he saw on his childhood friend's face. It had been a long time since he had seen Genesis so happy, and he was glad for it. Even if it was at the expense of his puppy.

"I'm guessing you two had a fun time around Midgar?" Angeal asked, an eyebrow raised.

Genesis's grin turned into one of malicious glee. "Well, I did. Your puppy on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. I could definitely get used to being a girl, especially if it means I can torment Zack to my heart's content." He laughed evilly before leaving Angeal's office. Angeal only sighed and shook his head. He would find out the extent of the damage on his puppy in the morning, for now he was going to go back home.

-the next morning—

"Angeal?" Zack asked before training, a confused look on his face.

"Yeah, Zack?" Angeal asked, knowing what his protégé was going to say.

"Your friend is crazy with a capital C." Zack said as he sat down on the floor.

"I know Zack," Angeal replied, having to hide a smirk.

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>^.^ i had so much fun writing this... and i do believe my friends at school now think im evil... i wonder what took them so long *shrugg* oh well ^.^_

_anyways, thanks for the reviews and i hope yall enjoyed this chapter!_


	22. Chapter 22 ATM

**diclaimer:** Since i do not own any of this, i cannot be held responsible for what the characters (namely Zack) do.

Ch. 22- ATM

After this, Cloud was going to have to send his new friend to the psychiatrist. No matter what Angeal said about it being useless, the puppy of SOLDIER needed help.

And right now was a perfect example.

"Woooohooooooo!" Zack yelled as he ran past Cloud, holding something in his hands, which were raised above his head. He had been running in circles, being a complete lunatic, for the last hour or so. And Cloud couldn't really figure out why. He had tried to get Zack to stop and talk to him, but the energetic First had ignored him.

Had Cloud been a little bigger, he might have stepped in front of the older man and cut him off. However, since Zack was much taller than he was, all stepping front of him would do is get Cloud run over. Cloud groaned in frustration, running his hand through his blond locks. He really had to tell Zack something, but the other man was ignoring him.

15 more minutes went by. Zack ran in circles, Cloud tried to get his attention so he'd stop, and everyone else at ShinRa gave them weird looks and a wide berth. Eventually, Cloud stopped trying to get his friends attention and settled on glaring at him. You could practically see the steam coming out of the blond cadets ears. Then, like a balloon with too much air in it, the cadet exploded.

"ZACKARY FAIR! IF YOU DO NOT STOP RIGHT THIS MOMENT I WILL DESTROY YOUR PRIZED STUFF CHOCOBO COLLECTION!" Cloud yelled, at the end of his patience. Everyone in the immediate vicinity froze at the tone of the cadets voice. Thankfully, that included Zack.

Zack gave his young friend a strange look and walked up to the irritated cadet. "You wouldn't do that to me, would you spiky?" he pleaded, unleashing the puppy eyes of doom.

Cloud glared, unfazed. "Your damn right I would! I've been trying to get your attention for the last half an hour!" he huffed, before crossing his arms.

Zack looked sheepish, "I'm sorry Cloudy, I was just so excited and I didn't see you and you know I would never knowingly ignore you." He ducked his head a little, looking sad.

Cloud glared at his friend for a moment, before taking a deep breath to calm himself down. "I know that. Sorry I yelled at you."

Zack stepped forward and gave Cloud a hug, "It's okay. I know how much you hate being ignored." Then he chuckled and ruffled his friend's spikes. "So, what did you want to tell me?"

Cloud looked at him for a moment, "You know what, I don't quite remember anymore." He sighed, the shrugged. "Oh well, it couldn't have been that important. So, why were you so excited?"

Zack's face lit up like a little kids who just been given candy. "This," he waved a handful of gil in his friend's face, "came out of that machine over there when I was messing with it." He pointed to the ATM that was next to the main entrance of ShinRa. "I was pretending to be Angeal when he used it, and after it made a couple noises, a bunch of gil started coming out! I must have won the lottery!" He smiled brightly at his friend.

Cloud looked at his friend for a long moment before turning around and walking back into the ShinRa facility. _Leave__it__to__Zack__to__think__he__won__the__lottery__after__using__the__ATM,_ he thought to himself as he headed towards the barracks, avoiding a livid Angeal in the hall. He shook his head in amazement and smiled. Yes, Zack acted like an idiot, and he was probably crazy; but that didn't matter to Cloud as long as they were friends.

-break—

A beep informed Angeal that he had an incoming text message. Angeal set the piece of paperwork he had been reading and picked up his PHS to looked at the message. _Chocobos__United?_ He thought to himself, _Why__would__I__be__getting__a__text__message__from__my__bank?_

Confused, he opened the message and read it. He stared at his phone in shock for a full minute before everything came crashing down on him. "WHAT!" he yelled at the screen, standing up and knocking over his chair. "I DIDN'T WITHDRAW 100,000 GIL! WHAT THE HELL!"

Angeal strode out of his office, determined to run to the bank and get the error fixed. He didn't spare one glance at Zack's new friend, whom he had almost run over in the hallway. Nor did he think twice about his protégé, who had continued running in circles, celebrating. He just wanted to get to the bank.

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>okay, so i have been thinking about writing this one for so long, it isn't even funny. however, everytime i tried to type it, it came out weird.  
>so, it has sat on my flashdrive for goddess knows how many months, since this was scheduled to be chapter 4. since im tired of it being in my works in progress folder, i added an ending to it and uploaded it...<em>

_yeah, so its written now... please tell me if it came out weird or whatever ^.^ which is possible...  
>Thanks goes to you all who reviewed! i had worried that after my month long disappearance i had lost you guys, but yall proved me wrong and i was happy for it! ^.^ haha<em>

_anyways, read, please review and i hope yall enjoyed this installment of InSaniTy!_


	23. Chapter 23 WTF?

**Disclaimer:** yes, i know i dont own it... dont rub it in... *pout*  
><em>also, brief mention about sexting... I dont really go into explanation, but i figured i would warn yall just in case... ^.^<em>

Ch. 23- WTF?

Cloud was seriously starting to doubt his friendship with Zack. Sure the man was nice and was pretty much the only one at ShinRa that would talk to him, but he did some weird things that left Cloud confused. Like now for instance. He read the message that had popped up on his PHS.

_Hiya! What u up 2 later Spiky?  
><em>_Wanted 2 no if u wer free foe dinner tonail.  
><em>_Sext me bac. –Zack_

Like he had said, Zack was weird. Not only was his spelling completely atrocious, but there was no way in Gaia Cloud was going to "sext" him. He scratched his head, blond spikes moving. He wasn't quite sure what "sext" even meant, but he didn't think it was a good thing.

_Ummm Zack?  
><em>_What is that even supposed to mean?_

Cloud was genuinely confused with his friend's weirdness. Shaking his head to clear it, he started down the hall towards his barracks. He needed a shower after the day's training, then he had to finish his History of ShinRa homework before he could go to bed. He sighed to himself. He was tired and would rather just lay in bed and go to sleep. The PHS buzzed in his hand, and he opened up the message that had popped up on the screen.

_Dinner dude! What r u doing rite now?_

Cloud stared at the message. He was still new at the whole texting thing (since they didn't have any reception in Nibelheim, let alone cell phones) and it usually took him a couple minutes to figure out what Zack was trying to say. At least this one was relatively simple.

_Oh… Why didn't you just say so?  
><em>_I'm on my way to the barracks to take a shower.  
><em>_Meet you in 30 minutes?_

Cloud grinned at the device in his hand. Homework was going to have to wait. It wasn't due until after lunch anyways. He could do it instead of eating. Cloud entered the barracks with a little extra bounce in his step, all exhaustion from earlier forgotten. He always enjoyed hanging out with Zack. Since they couldn't hang out often, Cloud always cherished the times they did. An incoming message made the PHS buzz.

_I did! You just didn't get what I was trying to say… look again and I bet you would understand it now._

Cloud smiled at the message. Zack knew him so well. Somewhat slowly, he accessed his inbox folder and read the first message he had received from Zack. After a minute of studying it, Cloud concluded that he did see what Zack had been trying to say. He was still somewhat confused though at part of the message, so he sent a quick reply.

_^.^ haha I get it now…  
><em>_But wait, what's sexting?_

Cloud hid the PHS under his pillow, so no one would steal it, and walked down the hall to the showers. After a quick 10 minute shower, Cloud returned to 2 new messages, both from Zack. He opened up the PHS and started towling dry his hair. The first message read:

_Sexting! Oh my little cloudy's growing up! Where'd you learn about sexting my little chocobo?  
><em>_Huh? You must tell!_

Cloud smiled a little at his friend's enthusiasm before opening up the other message and reading it.

_Oh, oops… I meant to write text not sext….  
><em>_Sorry, stupid autocorrect ^.^_

Cloud looked at the message puzzled, before replying.

_What's autocorrect?_

He set the PHS on his bunk and got dressed, he would have to ask Zack later about this autocorrect and why it was to blame…

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>okay, before you say anything, yes i know this is short... much shorter than the other chapters... yes, i know it might be a smidge confusing...  
>I realize this... i have just recently become addicted to the sight and i figured it would make a great story...<br>as it is, my brain hates me and doesn't want to cooperate... So like it, hate it, whatever... Review and tell me what you think..._

_Also, i wanted to give all of my reviewers a huge thanks and a virtual slice of pie!  
>everytime i read a review, the smile on my face gets bigger and bigger... ive actually had my coworker tell me that if i didn't quite smiling my face was going to crack ^.^<br>so, i very much appreciate your reviews!_

_and for those who dont review, thats fine too... ^.^ The fact that people are reading my story is good enough for me ^.^_

_so, read, review (please *puppy eyes*) and enjoy!_


	24. Chapter 24 Blue

**Disclaimer:** Nope don't own *sigh*

Ch. 24- Blue

Cloud groaned miserably as he rolled over, trying vainly to find the irritating beeping noise otherwise known as his alarm clock. With a thunk, he landed on the floor. He stared at the dust bunny in front of his face, dazed, for a moment before remembering he was in Zack's apartment and not in the cadet barracks. Cloud rubbed his head and sat up, turning off the alarm that was laying on the floor next to him.

All was quiet in the apartment, which could mean a number of things. Either Zack had left for work all ready and didn't bother waking him up, or the man was still asleep. Deciding he didn't care, Cloud sat there, rubbing the bump that was forming on his head and tried to figure out why he was in Zack's apartment in the first place.

Cloud realized, after staring off into space in thought, that there was something else on top of his head besides his hair and the bump growing there. He pulled the item off and stared at it. It was a yellowish hairband, with two similarly colored triangles on top. He stared dumbly at the item in his hand for a while before he remembered that they were part of his costume.

_Flashback  
>"Zack, do I really have to go as a cat? Like seriously? No one is going to take me seriously in the future if I look like this." Cloud asked his energetic friend holding up his cat ears and tail, which Zack had made for him.<em>

_The SOLDIER pouted, "But Cloudy!" he whined, "You would look so cute dressed like that! Come on, you wouldn't let me dress up as an animal alone, would you?" He held up the dog ears and tail, also handmade._

_Cloud stared at Zack. "Yes, yes I would. In fact," he started, cutting off Zack's protests, "I would rather not go at all. I do have other things to do after all."_

_Zack stared at him, lower lip trembling, "But…. But… CLOUD!" he sniffled, "What else is more important than going to a party with your best friend on Halloween!" He turned on the puppy eyes, knowing Cloud couldn't resist saying no to him when he begged like that._

_Cloud just continued to stare, unfazed. "Zack you might not have anything to do, but I have an essay due tomorrow. I don't have time to go to a party with you." Cloud turned on his heel, setting the ears and tail on Zack's coffee table, and started making his way out the door._

"_Cloud," Zack called out, all trace of his earlier pouting gone, "If you don't come with me, I might just have to tell a certain General that there is a certain blond cadet that has a crush on him."_

_Cloud stopped in his tracks. He turned slowly to look at his friend, noticing the evil grin on Zack's face. "You wouldn't dare," he threatened, very serious. It was one thing to have told Zack about his crush on Sephiroth, it was an entirely different matter to tell the man himself._

_Zack grinned cheekily, "Of course I would. So hurry up and put on your costume so we can leave. The party starts at 5."  
>End Flashback<em>

Cloud had to admit, the party was fun. Well, what he could remember was. It was at some bar in the slums he had never heard of, Seventh something; pretty nice for the slums in his opinion. Of course Zack kept trying to get him to drink, even though he was under aged. After an hour or so, he got sick of Zack bothering him and tried the drink Zack kept pushing at him. It was a little too bitter at first, but Cloud came to enjoy it after a while.

_Which__explains__my__headache,_ he thought kneading his forehead to relieve the tension there._Wonder__how__many__I__had.__Or__what__time__we__even__got__back._ Cloud looked around, eyebrows furrowed, as he tried to remember what happened. He remembered leaving the party with Zack and some redhead with tattoos on his face, then stumbling through the door and plopping on Zack's couch. There was a vague memory of movement in the dark and a bitter smell, but Cloud wasn't sure if he was just imagining that or not.

He sat there for a second, before remembering why he was up in the first place. Class. He was going to be late for class, having overslept his alarm and sat on the floor for close to 20 minutes. Cloud stood up quickly, clutching his spinning head and trying to find his uniform. He was about to pull on his boots when he noticed the note sticking out of the right one. He plucked it out and opened it.

_Cloud!  
>Good morning sleepy head! Don't worry about class today, I called and had you excused. Your professor said you could turn in the essay tomorrow. So just hang around my place for a couple hours until I get off duty and then we can hang out! See you in a couple hours!<br>-Zack_

_Ps. Don't leave the apartment. Trust me._

Cloud shook his head and smiled. Even though the man used an extraordinary amount of exclamation points, Zack was thoughtful. Cloud got back up and walked back to the couch, pulling off his gloves and armor, and sat down on the pile of sheets. He looked at the clock on Zack's wall and saw that it was almost noon. He chuckled to himself quietly. He would've been late anyway.

Cloud sat there, musing on how he must have been really hammered to have ignored his alarm for over 5 hours, when something from Zack's note struck him as odd.

_Ps. Don't leave the apartment. Trust me._

He reread the note, making sure he got it right. When he saw that he had read the note correctly, he was instantly suspicious. Why shouldn't he leave the apartment? Cloud searched himself quickly, trying to make sure everything was as it should. He sighed in relief when he didn't find a tattoo or something else equally horrible. He chuckled and shook his head, hair swaying at the motion. _Zack__probably__didn__'__t__want__people__to__know__that__I__was__here._ He thought, chuckling some more at his stupidity. _Unless,_ a quiet voice whispered in the back of his mind,_he__did__something__to__your__face.__You__know__the__stories__he__'__s__told__about__what__he__didn__'__t__to__drunk__people__who__passed__out__in__public._ Cloud shuddered at the thought. He had definitely been drunk last night, and had definitely passed out on Zack's couch.

Cloud leapt up at the conclusion, running to the closest mirror, which happened to be in the bathroom. He stood there, leaning close to the mirror, and frantically searched his face for any marks. After 30 seconds of quick searching, Cloud sighed in relief. There was no pen, make-up, glitter, or anything else on his face. He was about to turn and leave when something else caught his eye.

Blue. His hair was no longer a nice light blond, but now was a bright electric blue. Cloud stared at his lovely locks in horror before clenching his fist in rage. "Zackary Fair, you are so dead!" he growled to himself, before stalking out the bathroom. He quickly, and angrily, pulled the rest of his uniform on and stomped out of the apartment, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. He was on a mission. And goddess help anyone who got in his way.

-break—

Zack looked over at the clock on his desk and chuckled. It was almost lunch and Cloud had yet to call him. _He__'__s__probably__still__sleeping,_ the young man thought to himself as he arranged the papers on his desk and got ready to leave. A knock sounded on the door just as he was locking his desk. "Come on in," he called, happy to see he got a visitor. Paperwork could be so boring by yourself, and he was glad he had company, if only for a little while.

Now, in hindsight, he should have noticed that the knock at the door was a little too loud for it to be any of the secretaries, nor was the telltale sound of boots there to mean it was another SOLDIER. However, Zack didn't notice, and it was going to lead to his demise. Zack turned his back to the door so he could close the blinds, and thus didn't see his visitor before it was too late. He saw a flash of blue, and then felt a sharp pain on his head.

Zack fell to the floor, clutching his swimming head and tried to get his bearings so he was prepared for another attack. He managed to get to his hands and knees before the object collided with his head again. He must have blacked out for only a moment, because when he became aware again he was still lying on his office floor. The object was still hitting him all over his body, but know there was a voice yelling at him.

"Zack you idiot!" The person yelled. "Why the hell would you dye my hair! And bright blue of all colors! You. Are. So. Dead!" the hard object started landing harder now, punctuating the person's words. Zack, too stunned to moved, was puzzled. He didn't dye anyone's hair blue….

Cloud's face popped into his head and he grimaced. He didn't think the blond would react the way he did. He rolled over and stared up at a deranged Cloud. The young cadet had a book in his hands. It looked like the dictionary, but Zack couldn't be sure from that angle. Oblivious to his precarious position, he smiled. "Heya Cloud! You look good with blue hair."

Cloud stared down at Zack, his anger flaring. He dropped the book and Zack flinched as it landed two inches from his head. Figuring Cloud was done, he smiled again and chuckled. He made as if to get up when Cloud drew his foot back and kicked him.

Hard.

Very hard, in fact.

Yeah, maybe Zack should've thought of a better prank…

* * *

><p><em>authors note:<br>please, please don't kill me for having Zack get beaten up... I just couldn't help it... *ducks rocks*  
>fine be that way ^.^<br>anyways, thanks for reading and i hope you all enjoyed!  
>Thanks go to those who have reviewed and i hope to hear from you all...<br>later! ^.^_


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